50 Shades Of Put It Away: The Worst Book Sex Scenes Ever

50 Shades Of Put It Away: The Worst Book Sex Scenes Ever

From snide reviews to Twitter parodies, plenty have mocked the story's breathless prose and naked cliches, even as E.L. James's sale figures rose to uncontrollable heights of ecstasy.

But as book fans and writers alike know, grinding out a good sex scene is one of the deepest, hardest challenges facing the humble novelist, one that has ravaged the reputation of more than one titan of fiction in the past.

Any approach has its potential pitfalls.

Be too metaphorical, and your sex scene will slip from your grasp with the lithe wriggle of a snagged salmon, up, up, away from your impressive rod and through the sun-stroked streams, deep into a pool of pretension.

Play it too hard and fast, and you'll sound like a crude twat.

So for this reason, we think 50 Shades Of Grey deserves to be cut some slack. From John Updike to James Joyce to, er, Giles Coren and Tony Blair, plenty of highly-regarded wordsmiths have drooped when faced with evoking coitus.

Don't believe us? Here's 50 of the funniest, weirdest and most cringe-inducing book sex scenes of all time...


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