You know what today really needs? A photo of a pig being hypnotised.
Yes, the amazing 'pig-whispering' Dutchman Kees Scheepens hypnotises pigs to 'uncover their stress attitude' - no, we don't quite understand what that means, either - and here he is in action in a pigsty in Duelmen, western Germany.
Scheepens (if only that surname was 'Pigpens') has already given advice to around 15,000 farmers. Although frankly, we're only going to be impressed if he gets these pigs to act like chickens, do a striptease or bite into onions thinking they're apples.