"I'm going to be friends with David Hasselhoff," says excitable 'Britain's Got Talent' contestant Maarty Broekman.
Dressed in tight black, gold sequined leggings and a cropped red leather jacket over his bare, toned and hairless chest, I almost don't know where to look as the 23-year-old Dutch singer comes over to my table.
With his curly blonde hair restrained by a headband, Broekman looks like a young man who's wondered into an eccentric eighties star's wardrobe and come out with a keytar to show.
What will Simon Cowell make of your get-up, I ask? "If he says something about my looks I'll tell him he needs a haircut," he smiles.
Within seconds the 'singer' has me bent over in hysterics. The best thing about it is he doesn't seem to realise how funny he is.
The 'Britain's Got Talent' publicists have obviously briefed him on what not to say, but as he looks over his shoulder at them and smiles he carries on talking in his no-holds-barred, charming way...
There are tears in his eyes as he explains how his girlfriend of four years broke up with him and how, subsequently, he decided to move to England to make music after someone from Channel 4 spotted him performing in Amsterdam.
Broekman's already got a music video for his own song 'Backdoor Lover':
But while he's been living in London he's been working in a craft shop. "They say I sing all the time," he says discontentedly, and I can see this is a man who belongs in entertainment, not stacking shelves.
Working in a shop isn't the first job Broekman's had. Back in the Netherlands he carried out aerobics classes on the beach for tourists and even did a stint as a lifeguard.
"I once had to pull a woman out of the water, she was overtired," he says innocently.
At this point I still have no idea what Broekman's performance will really involve, he mentions something about eighties music and time travel, but adds sincerely: "I know it's a bit over the top, but I really believe in the music I make."
Will Britain believe in it too?