Pope 'Was Outsourcing Job To China So He Could Spend More Time Watching Cat Videos'

A senior employee at the Vatican has resigned following revelations that he had been outsourcing his job to a worker in China in order to spend more time on Twitter and Reddit.

The Vatican first became suspicious of Pope Benedict XVI's behaviour when its main server showed a series of regular logins from China under the name of 'Benny'.

Senior members of staff then studied the Pope's computer history - and found that an average day for His Holiness looked like this:

9am – Arrive and surf Twitter; join in with hashtag games

10am – Look for funnies on Reddit

11am – Watch cat videos

1pm – Lunch. Browse Ebay; comment on friends' Facebook statuses

2pm – Update LinkedIn profile; watch more cat videos

3pm – Go on Twitter again

4.30pm – End-of-day update email to Vatican management

5pm – Log off

"We were suspicious by just how much he tweeted," said a Vatican source, "but we had no idea he was up to all this."

The Pope is now on garden of Eden leave.

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