A letter purportedly from the Royal Mail has warned one householder he must stop "repeatedly answering the door naked asking if it's 'first class'" because he is making postal staff nervous.
In what could be the most British piece of correspondance ever, the letter politely asks Mr Whitman if he could stop " jumping out of bushes shouting 'Beware of the giant bees' and claiming to have been attacked by "crack-addled Oompah Loompahs, opening the door with a ketchup stained shirt and a breadknife" because "a number of complaints have been made."
The letter continues: "As such we would like to ask you to kindly desist from your 'surprises' or we would be forced to review whether we could maintain services to your property."
The most British letter ever
Royal Mail were baffled by the letter and spokesperson Nick Martens told the Huffington Post UK: “We do not recognise the contents of this letter nor the name at the bottom and we would not use this process to approach customers. Of course, if any further information is provided we would be happy to investigate further.”
The letter is such another example of British eccentricity witnessed in recent months. Earlier in March an irate train passenger who was refused a refund for a cancelled train came up with a novel use for his rejection letter.
No love lost: The letter in all its glory
In a missive addressed to Greater Anglia, the anonymous passenger bemoans the fact the refund was not possible because he did not apply within the requisite 28 days.
Enclosing the rejection letter, which the complainant has "taken the liberty of rolling up very tightly", he advises the customer services contact to "stick it up your arse".