'Why I'm Dumping You' May Be Funniest, Harshest Break-Up Note Ever (PICTURE)

To paraphrase Elizabeth Barrett Browning: How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways...

Yes, dumping someone by fax is so 1990s (just ask Daniel Day-Lewis). The new way to end a relationship is to leave a note like this, then put it on the internet (and we're assuming that it was the dumper, rather than the dumpee, who did such a thing).

From being able to name all the "dudes" in One Direction to wearing sweatpants to a family funeral, the person being dumped here has, apparently, committed an awful lot of sins. And we have to say, we're with the dumper on the whole "Barack HUSSEIN Obama" thing.

Is it cruel? Yes. Funny? Definitely. But here's hoping the dumpee has since found true love with someone who truly appreciates their leather pants (and Michael Phelps posters).