Lady Gaga 'ARTPOP' Review: Great Music, Shame About The Lyrics


Earlier this year, an executive at Lady Gaga's record label Interscope made the bold claim that her new album 'ARTPOP' would 'take music to a whole new level', which I'll readily admit got me very excited indeed because (a) I love Gaga and (b) I'm a tiny bit gullible.

He also said that the new material would have a such an impact on the listener that 'your hearts will race' and 'tears will come out of your eyes'.

Well, after hearing 'ARTPOP' for the first time I can confirm that my heart did indeed race (I listened to it over breakfast, which included a strong cup of coffee), and tears did stream out of my eyes, albeit not for the reason that executive had in mind.

One word: lyrics.

I can't actually ever recall laughing whilst listening to an album before but that's exactly what happened at points as I made my way through the 15 new tracks.

And I haven't jumped aboard the inevitable Gaga-bashing train either - there's much to enjoy on 'ARTPOP'.

Musically, it's as big and bold, unpredictable and diverse as Gaga herself with enough hooks and ABBA-esque choruses to keep any pop fan smiling through Christmas and beyond.

Initial favourites include 'G.U.Y' (surely a future single?), 'Sex Dreams', 'Mary J Holland' and the title track.

But its big downfall are some of the lyrics, which often sound rushed and nonsensical - but hilarious? Surely LOLing along to the album wasn't intentional?

On 'Donatella', Gaga sings; "Walk down the runway but don't puke, it's ok. You just had a salad today, boulangerie. Just ask your gay friends their advice before you. Get a spray tan on holiday in Taipei."

Oh dear.

And on 'Mary Jane Holland' Gaga trills; "I know that mom and dad think I'm a mess, but it's alright because I'm as rich as piss."


If Gaga wants to be taken seriously as an 'artist' (like all the arty farty posturing and avant garde styling would suggest) then she really needs to spend more than five minutes jotting down the first rhyming couplets that spring to her mind.

Like 'Uranus' and 'famous'.

Some critics are already gleefully predicting that 'ARTPOP' is a disaster of such magnitude that Gaga will be doing a tour of Wetherspoons next year. Hardly.

'ARTPOP' is an exciting album let down by some seriously lazy lyrics and a misjudged attempt at hip-hop (the horrible 'Jewels N' Drugs') but the end of Gaga it is not.

In fact, I have a feeling the (predictable) backlash might just result in Gaga producing the album that many wanted 'ARTPOP' to be.

But for now (once I can get over some of those lyrics), it'll do very nicely indeed.

'ARTPOP' is released on 11 November

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