04/02/2014 06:28 GMT | Updated 04/02/2014 08:59 GMT

Tube Strikes: The Definitive Guide To Explain How The Union Action Is Going F*** Up Your Day

Want to get to work on time? Well tough, you can't.

Unless two upcoming 48-hour Tube strikes are called off, this is the pathetic service you can expect to be running from 9pm this evening until Friday morning.

tube strikes

To see a high res version click here

The map, which was created by a blogger and is presented as a rough, rather than official guide, is intended to help stranded commuters plan their marathon quests commutes to work during the strikes coordinated by members of the RMT and TSSA unions.

"Despite two poorly-supported ballots for industrial action, which saw only around 30 per cent of RMT and TSSA members balloted voting for strike action, and around 70 per cent either not voting or voting no, the union leaderships have nonetheless instructed their members to carry out four days of strike action in February," Transport for London have confirmed.

Two 48-hour strikes have been called at London Underground which will affect services from around 9.30pm on Tuesday 4 February until the morning of Friday 7 February; and, around 9.30pm on Tuesday 11 February until the morning of Friday 14 February.

Boris Johnson has waged war on trade union leaders ahead of the crippling tube strikes that could bring London to a standstill.

The mayor said it was "absolutely outrageous" that London was being "held to ransom" and mocked union baron Bob Crow.

But union leaders are furious that London Mayor Boris Johnson pledged to keep ticket offices open at Underground stations - but has now broken that election promise.

Here is what is running according to TFL:

Bakerloo line

Trains between Queen’s Park and Elephant & Castle every six minutes, in both directions. Trains will not stop at Edgware Road, Embankment, Kilburn Park, Lambeth North, Maida Vale, Piccadilly Circus or Regent’s Park.

Central line

No service through the central area. Trains will run between Epping and Leystone every 12 minutes, and between West Ruislip and White City every 15 minutes

Circle line

You're fucked No service expected at all. Use the District, Hammersmith & City and Metropolitan lines instead.

District line

Trains will run between Upminster and Wimbledon every eight minutes, and between Ealing Broadway and High Street Kensington every 20 minutes, but these trains will not stop at Aldgate East, Becontree, Blackfriars, Bromley-by-Bow, Dagenham East, Dagenham Heathway, East Ham, Elm Park, Gloucester Road, Hornchurch, Plaistow, Sloane Square, Stepney Green, Temple, Upminster Bridge, Upney or Upton Park.

Hammersmith & City line

Trains will run between Hammersmith and Moorgate every ten minutes, not stopping at Barbican, Euston Square and Great Portland Street.

Jubilee line

Trains should run between Stanmore and Finchley road every five minutes, and between Waterloo and Stratford every five minutes, not stopping at Bermondsey or Southwark.

Metropolitan line

Transport for London intends to run trains between Harrow-on-the-Hill and Aldgate around every ten minutes, but these services will not call at Barbican, Euston Square, Great Portland Street, Northwick Park and Preston Road.

Northern line

Trains "should" run over the whole line apart from Mill Hill East, but services on both the Bank and Charing Cross branches will not stop at Borough, Chalk Farm, Clapham North, Clapham South, Colliers Wood, Embankment, Goodge Street, Hampstead, Highgate, Leicester Square, Mornington Crescent, Old Street, Oval, South Wimbledon, Tooting Bec, Tufnell Park or Warren Street.

Piccadilly line

No service expected in the central area, but trains will run between Acton Town and Heathrow Terminals 1, 2 and 3 every ten minutes, and between Arnos Grove and Cockfosters every ten minutes. These trains will not stop at Heathrow Terminal 4 or Southgate.

Victoria line

Trains should run between Seven Sisters and Victoria every five minutes, not stopping at Warren Street.

Waterloo & City line

You're fucked No service.


Normal service.


Around 100 extra buses on the key routes of the 700 in total.

London Overground

Normal service.


Normal service.

Emirates Air Line

Normal service.

River services

TfL promises ‘enhanced’ services will be in place.