25/02/2015 12:08 GMT | Updated 20/05/2015 10:12 BST

Nursery Worker's Note Accuses Nine-Month-Old Baby Of 'Rough' And 'Aggressive' Behaviour

The Babble

A nursery wrote a note to a mum saying her nine-month-old baby complaining that she'd been 'playing roughly and aggressively' with other babies.

The handwritten letter was given to the baffled mum saying her baby daughter Samantha had been making other babies cry.

The message was shared by mum Alice Gomstyn on the American parenting blog Babble after it was passed to her by the 'aggressive' baby's mother, called Vero.

The note read: "Samantha has been playing roughly and aggressively with the other babies; they will be crying and upset but she is smiling and enjoying herself - even our using firm voices to tell her it's not OK to hurt her friends and remove her from area, she is smiling and going right back. Can you help us out by maybe discouraging her to not play roughly with her friends and her dog."

Babble blogger Alice contacted Michigan child development expert Dr Adelle Cadieux for her view on the note and the baby's apparent behaviour.

The psychologist told Alice that children Samantha's age go through a phase where they are excited to see the effects their actions cause, and they cannot yet recognise that what they are doing maybe be hurtful to others.

But she said that telling a mother her baby's is being aggressive is at the very least unhelpful because as far as advice goes, it is too vague.

Dr Cadieux said: "Saying, 'I'm concerned about your child because I'm observing something different', is a great way to begin a conversation as opposed to, 'Hey, your kid's being aggressive and you need to do something about it'."

Alice concluded: "I don't want to discourage daycare providers from keeping parents abreast of their children's days through the daily form notes common at many centers.

"As a parent, I'd rather see a caregiver tell me much more than I need to know about my child than tell me too little. But if a note demonstrates that a daycare provider is seemingly at a loss at how to handle typical baby behavior - like the one above appears to do - it would certainly shake my confidence in that center.

"Many other parents feel the same way. After Vero shared the note on Facebook, dozens of moms posted comments questioning the competence of her daycare provider."

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