'We Will Only Treat Tories In Extreme Agony' Say Migrant Nurses

Nurses have hit back at government plans to deport foreigners who don't earn over ÂŁ35,000 by saying they will not treat Tories who are ill but not in extreme agony.

New immigration rules mean migrants earning under the threshold after six years of residence in the UK could face the boot.

The Royal College of Nursing (RCN) has claimed 3,365 nurses currently employed in the UK will potentially be affected.

In retaliation migrant nurses have drawn up a sliding 'Conservative Pain Scale' upon which Tories will be judged when they seek medical attention.

Those falling under the threshold will be made to walk home in the cold whilst being chased by foxes.

Nurse, Tirtha Kapoor, said: "This is ridiculous. We work hard and this is how they pay us back.

"If they kick us out for not being able to earn enough then from now on only the Tories who are really sore will get treated."

All Tory spokesmen were unavailable for comment. Many were seen hoarding cotton wool.