Great British Bake Off is back on our screens, and it's got us glued to the sofa once again. It's at its usual innuendo-ridden gold standard, so here's how the first episode went down, illustrated with funny tweets.
Pretend you're on #GBBO by baking a cake and asking your nan to tell you it's shit.— Lisa Hollis (@JoineeHollis) August 5, 2015
Warning: here be spoilers.
There was a token hipster:
Presumably if he survives this week the hipster will be making a single-speed bicycle out of retro breakfast cereals next week. #GBBO— The Media Blog (@TheMediaTweets) August 5, 2015
Stu is making his Black Forest Gateau using upcycled organic eggs, and vintage glacé cherries. #GBBO— James Martin (@Pundamentalism) August 5, 2015
A token hipster with a silly hat:
Hats off to Stu. No, really, take the f**king hat off. #GBBO— Liam Murphy (@liamwaterloo) August 5, 2015
And he put BEETROOT in his cake:
I just want Paul to yell "THIS IS BULLSHIT, STU!" #GBBO— Dave Turner (@mrdaveturner) August 5, 2015
There was a Lithuanian bodybuilder who mastered the art of whipping like she wasn't even bothered:
We got to see two Pauls, seemingly fighting for the role of Alpha Paul:
They were tasked with making a Madeira cake, which got everyone giggling over the inevitable crack in the top:
A moist crack...didn't take long for the innuendo to start did it? #GBBO— Katie Weasel (@KatieWeasel) August 5, 2015
And Mat filled his cake with gin. As you do.
"Containing 7 shots of gin". Still two less than Mary has in her already. #GBBO— Ryan Nelson (@RyanJohnNelson) August 5, 2015
Someone actually managed to forget to turn the oven on. IN A BAKING COMPETITION. And her excuse was fantastic:
"I forgot to set the oven because at home we've got an Aga"August 5, 2015
There were puns:
Lots of them:
Yes, Dorret had a bit of a mare with her gateaux:
She's taking soggy bottoms to a whole new level 😂😂 #gbbo— Gogglebox Scarlett (@ScarlettMoffatt) August 5, 2015
An entire nation rises, as one, to scream "DON'T THROW IT IN THE BIN!" #GBBO— Girl on the Net (@girlonthenet) August 5, 2015
Ok, "a bit of a mare" was an understatement:
There was a lot of gin:
My mind is saying "beach body"...my belly is saying "cake...gin and cake" #GBBO— Fran Newman-Young (@francesca_ny) August 5, 2015
But not enough for Mary Berry:
I want a gif of Mary Berry saying sadly 'for me, the gin is not there' #GBBO— Gaby Hinsliff (@gabyhinsliff) August 5, 2015
Sue Perkins was feeling her usual naughty self:
Sue: shoves entire spatula into mouth
Me: RELATABLEAugust 5, 2015
And so was Mel:
Mel: "I can't wait to romp in your forest"August 5, 2015
Mel called Mary Berry 'Bez' 😂 #GBBO— Emma Alexander (@Emma_Shabba) August 5, 2015
And of course there was a whole horde of glorious innuendo:
Mary: "Caramel has flowed around the nuts but I rather like that"
#BakeOffInnuendo No.649August 5, 2015
In case you were wondering, Marie won Star Baker and there's a gif of her reaction:
And the hipster in the hat wasn't so lucky...
"What have you learned from this competition?"
THAT YOU RESPECT THE TENT AND BURN THE HAT BEFORE ENTERING. #GBBO— Daniel J. Layton (@DanielJLayton) August 5, 2015
Stu's glad he's out, before the series went mainstream. #GBBO— James Martin (@Pundamentalism) August 5, 2015
and what have we learnt this week children: DONT WEAR A STUPID HAT INSIDE THE TENT WHEN UR BAKING FOR THE QUEEN #GBBO— ruby (@rubyetc) August 5, 2015