Funny Tweets

"Yes, autocorrect. By all means, let’s size the day."
"Could multiplication facts become popular on TikTok, that would be super helpful with homeschooling."
"Instead of telling my husband I'm annoyed with him, I'm just gonna put strawberries in a salad."
"Just overheard the phrase, 'pregnant with a baby,' and secretly wondered what the other options were."
"'Daddy, where do babies come from?' Me: 'New phone. Who dis?'"
Clubs could reopen on June 21 – and it's all people are talking about.
"If we’ve been in a lockdown talking stage, you owe me a Valentine's gift."
They say kids don’t come with a manual, but fortunately parents have other resources at their disposal.
"Welcome to your 40s - you now think every car has its brights on."
"If you're not using the gym solely for childcare, we probably can't be friends."