The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. And although the platform has rebranded to X, their humour lives on.
Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women, and then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
the irish catholic goodbye is when you leave a party and then feel really really guilty about it
— trash jones (@jzux) March 17, 2024
Saying “this guy again?!” at every Jesus painting in the Louvre. Everyone HATES it.
— mere strömb (@merestromb) March 18, 2024
there can be literally two things in a tote and you still won’t be able to find either. silly little cloth joke bags
— Beth McColl (@imbethmccoll) March 21, 2024
it is so embarrassing when u hold a baby and they immediately start crying like omg is my vibe totally fucked, be honest with me
— ★ (@fuitsnack) March 16, 2024
Things that have improved my mental health:
— Karen K. Ho (@karenkho) March 18, 2024
-sleeping 7.5 to 9 hrs/night
-long walks with my dog
-eating high-protein meals
-drinking more water
-cleaning 15-30 min every day
-weekly therapy
-time with friends
-a lot less time here and Extremely Online
-seeing my exes age poorly
I loved Saint Patrick's day in Boston it was like if everyone got a concussion during the purge. One year I lost my keys in a pub and a guy gave me one of his keys to make me feel better
— raina (@quakerraina) March 17, 2024
very angry that “regularly lifting weights” has cured 80% of my back pain. was really banking on “hunching over my laptop 16 hours a day” being the trick to a pain-free life
— katie (@katefeetie) March 17, 2024
wrote this down yesterday while riding pirates of the caribbean pic.twitter.com/4bz9VYQqZ3
— nicole boyce (@nicolewboyce) March 17, 2024
i have to be honest it is actually insane that there is an extremely successful clothing brand called "banana republic"
— comrade ella🧚🏻♀️❄️ (@marzipanlord) March 21, 2024
Look, I’m no detective - but if I was trying to find a missing middle-aged rich lady who was tired of her shitty husband, I’d at least *ask* Pete Davidson.
— Eliza Skinner #wgastrong (@elizaskinner) March 16, 2024
texting my sister is great it’s like we’re just talking to ourselves. she’s like “i just got sweet green. my back hurts. i kinda want cheesecake” and i’ll be like “i’m thinking of trying a new face mask. should i start meal prepping” it’s an endless loop
— latke (@latkedelrey) March 17, 2024
I no longer dislike Mondays, i’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.
— Jenni (@hashjenni) March 17, 2024
WE FOUND HER! pic.twitter.com/OfUkAQ6qg3
— Hannah Posts (@HannahPosted) March 16, 2024
every year on st. paddy’s my mom would give us each a cabbage leaf and we would wear them on our heads like a little hat while we ate our corned beef. i thought this was a thing all irish people did but it turns out my mom just thought it was funny. found out in college.
— erin chack (@ErinChack) March 17, 2024
some of you clearly weren’t always targeted as the weakest link in every childhood game of Red Rover and it shows
— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) March 21, 2024
ok thumbelina pic.twitter.com/mDpZi2mMqZ
— Jenna (@jennawexler) March 17, 2024
Was feeling so anxious and then I realized my tv volume was just too high
— michaela okland (@MichaelaOkla) March 16, 2024
Carrie Bradshaw is the worst for a lot of reasons but her most unforgivable offense to me will always be her S1 E3 voiceover, in which she compares the tension between married women and singles to (I kid you not) THE TROUBLES IN NORTHERN IRELAND
— Keara Sullivan (@superkeara) March 20, 2024
My mother in law went to Hong Kong last week and discovered "villian-hitting" where you write your personal enemy on some paper and an old lady beats your enemy with a shoe pic.twitter.com/oHhyW6SLR0
— Slug Wife 🇵🇸 (@_slugwife) March 18, 2024
having adhd + anxiety is RIDICULOUS bc I just got lost in a reverie about whether I could make & sell butter from scratch and then I was like WAIT…..what was I spiraling about before I got distracted by butter???? oh yeah, whether I’m capable of love
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) March 17, 2024
I’m watching a 30 minute youtube video of two old polish people showing how to sculpt a traditional butter lamb, and tearing up for some reason as she gently places the cloves in and says “and now we give him eyes to see” pic.twitter.com/xwH9iUSFxs
— bella (@earlygirl__) March 21, 2024
Me to me after one tiny mistake: you useless idiot
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) March 16, 2024
Me to my cat who committed 100 crimes in the past hour: my furry little angel, you are perfection my toe bean queen
maybe a PhD is a small price to pay for avoiding adulting for as long as you can
— Ananya (@uff_meri_adaa) March 19, 2024
nick cannon https://t.co/QBWXXelIvp
— Invis🧜♀️ (@invis4yo) March 18, 2024