hpw tweets

"(Seconds before getting raptured) okay so phone, keys, wallet"
"It takes 16 muscles to turn over and fall back asleep. Follow me for more fitness tips."
"I hate how I am a 'I have an appointment at 4pm so I can't do anything all day' type of person"
"Me at 1 day pregnant: omg the baby is craving a vacation in the south of France"
"hey sorry for being so anxious earlier i had no idea everything would be fine"
"It's amazing how much I accomplish around the house under the threat of someone coming over"
"I suck so bad at sexting I'm like 'that can be arranged'"
"I’m forever loyal to that password I chose at age 12"
"i don’t need a weighted blanket i need to be baked into a pie"
"I love in cult documentaries when you can tell the former members are still kinda into it"