hpw tweets
"I wish they sold off-brand cars I'll get me a damn Honder"
"overheard a girl step outside where it’s a little chilly and say 'it’s giving jacket'"
“'We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it' OK but I’m gonna worry about the bridge now"
"The best part of starting a new job is all 4 of your grandparents are alive again."
"'[sic]' is such a petty piece of grammar"
“'So do you have any hobbies' yeah lately i’ve been really into worrying"
"The fitness trainer asked me, 'What kind of a squat are you accustomed to doing?' I said, 'Diddly.'"
"Going over to my best friend's house for dinner and asked if I could bring anything and she said 'yeah dinner.'"