Lifestyle magazine Country Life recently published two articles which have caused a bit of a stir.
First, they discussed what it means to be a man, with incredibly reductive points like "is not vegetarian" and "can sail a boat and ride a horse".
They then went on to insult women everywhere with their points on what it means to be a lady, such as "excels at making love, lasagne and long gin and tonics", "can paunch a rabbit, pluck a pheasant and gut a fish, but allows men the privilege" and "knows when to let a man think it’s his idea".
But what does it mean to be a Country Life writer?
A country life writer...
- Must harbour outdated stereotypes and consider them to be absolute.
- Always makes a sandwich when a man wants one, if female.
- Always opens a jar or fixes the plumbing, if male.
- Must buy a watch and turn it back 30 years.
- Must be able to shake off the urge to write proper articles in favour of meaningless clicks.
- Knows when to leave a byline blank if their article is offensive to 50% of the general public.
- Always acts twee.
- Always drinks several "long gin and tonics" before pitching or writing.
- Must be able to come up with fluff for lists when struggling to reach the number given by the editor.
- Owns a pen.
- Owns an apron that says 'down with women's lib'.
- Thinks making a decent omelette is more important than treating people with respect.
- Doesn't know when not to say anything.
- Considers being out of touch with the modern world to be a cause for pride.
- Doesn't go on holiday anywhere British Airways doesn't fly.
- Doesn't know what "inner city" means.
- Thinks going on the dole is something you do after university for a bit of extra champagne money.
- Went to a recognised private school, and certainly not one of those povvo grammar schools.
- Owns enough tweed to clothe a small county.
- Doesn't know what a tax credit is.
- Drives a car with a gun rack.
- Thinks it's important to know the difference between lilac and mauve.
- Thinks the solution to everything is a £70 bottle of Châteauneuf-du-Pape.
- Shops at Waitrose, or M&S if they fancy rubbing elbows with the plebeians.
- Would not go to Sunderland.
- Is genuinely shocked when they hear someone has never been skiing.
- Can prepare a one-article shitstorm.
- Is good with waiters, because they grew up with a team of them in the house.
- Doesn't understand how people live without eating venison at least once a week.
- Has a bathroom bigger than the average council flat.
- Drinks gin and tonics because they're so frightfully in right now.
- Doesn't know what RyanAir is.
- Is certain a ray of sunlight has been spotted shining out of his/her bottom.
- Owns several pairs of wellies.
- Knows what "matriculation" means.
- Played lacrosse at school.
- Can tie a bow tie and does so on a regular basis.
- Has a different Barbour jacket for every occasion.
- Kills small animals for fun.