Top 10 Funny Christmas Cracker Jokes Revealed

2013's Best Christmas Cracker Jokes
LOS ANGELES, CA - DECEMBER 06: Recording artist Miley Cyrus performs onstage during KIIS FM's Jingle Ball 2013 at Staples Center on December 6, 2013 in Los Angeles, CA. (Photo by Christopher Polk/Getty Images for Clear Channel)
LOS ANGELES, CA - DECEMBER 06: Recording artist Miley Cyrus performs onstage during KIIS FM's Jingle Ball 2013 at Staples Center on December 6, 2013 in Los Angeles, CA. (Photo by Christopher Polk/Getty Images for Clear Channel)
Christopher Polk via Getty Images

The hunt to find the best modern Christmas cracker jokes is over - at least for this year.

TV channel Gold launched a Twitter competition to find some cracking (geddit?!) gags for its bespoke range of Christmas crackers - and now the winners can be revealed.

A panel of judges - led by comedy expert Bruce Dessau - chose a shortlist of the best #GoldCrackers jokes, which were then voted on by 2,000 British adults.

The top 10 favourites chosen by the public for 2013 were:

10 Christmas Cracker Jokes

The three jokes that just missed out on a top 10 spot were:

  • Why did Harry Styles fail at being Santa? Because he can only use the chimney in One Direction.
  • Why did Rudolph the reindeer have the complete works of Shakespeare on his top lip? Because his nose was well read.
  • Why can't you wash up during Christmas? Because the Fairy is on top of the tree.

The winning 'twerky' gag was written by Richard Woolford - the man behind this very funny Snowman Trust video - who received £5,000 in prize money for his efforts (and a box of Gold crackers).

“I’m totally amazed and can’t believe it!" said Woolford. "I now hope Twerking becomes a new Christmas tradition - are you listening Nan?

"This has been a phenomenal year and a great welcome back into comedy for me after being away so long recovering from cancer. All I want to do is write comedy professionally, and hopefully this is another step closer to my dream.”

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