WARNING: INDUSTRIAL LANGUAGE
Citizens of Blighty put on a good show at the 2016 Golden Globe Awards on Sunday, Britons picking up a raft of awards an the annual awards bash thrown by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. Ricky Gervais was a point to offer his honed cynicism from the podium, peaking during an outrageous exchange with Mel Gibson.
The comic opened the bowling with this measured tweet:
Better get dressed and offend some humourless cunts I suppose. pic.twitter.com/X4idHHuMMf— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) January 10, 2016
Then ramped up the attacked with an over of bouncers:
- “One Hollywood publication said that me hosting would mean that some film stars would stay away for fear of being made fun of. As if film stars would stay away from the chance of winning a Golden Globe! Especially if their film company has already paid for it.”
- “The excellent Spotlight has been nominated. The Catholic Church are furious about the film, as it exposes the fact that 5 percent of all their priests have repeatedly molested children and have been allowed to continue without punishment. Roman Polanski called it the best date movie ever.”
- “The Hollywood Foreign Press Association deemed The Martian a comedy and even nominated it. Hence Matt Damon is here tonight. So that worked a treat, didn’t it. To be fair, The Martian was a lot funnier than Pixels. But then again so was Schindler’s List.”
- “All-female remakes are the big thing. There’s a female remake of Ghostbusters, there’s going to be a female remake of Ocean’s Eleven. It’s brilliant for the studios because they can get guaranteed box office results and don’t have to spend too much money on the cast.”
- “Listen, if you do win tonight, remember: No one caress about that award as much as you do. Don’t get emotional it’s embarrassing, okay. That award is, no offense, worthless. It’s a bit of metal that some nice old confused journalists wanted to give you in person so they could meet you and have a selfie with you, okay? That’s all it is. I’ve got three Golden Globes myself. One’s a doorstop, one I hit burglars with and one I keep by my bed. It’s the right shape and size. To be clear that’s a joke about me shoving Golden Globes — that I’ve won! — up my ass. And they asked me to host four times!”
Onto the awards, Kate Winslet picked up a gong for best supporting actress:
The prime minister got a name check... and not in a good way. “Without the BBC quality programming like this wouldn’t happen and I urge David Cameron to do everything he can to protect the BBC,” said Colin Callender, the producer of Wolf Hall, which won best miniseries.
As Wolf Hall Exec producer Sir Colin Callender collects #GoldenGlobe he urges David Cameron to protect the BBC— Girish Ch4 News (@GirishJuneja) January 11, 2016
Jason Statham stuck director Paul Feig in a headlock.
Singer Sam Smith and songwriter Jimmy Napes won the Golden Globe for best original song for the Spectre theme, Writing's On The Wall.
Then this happened:
we aren’t bleeped, he said ‘what the fuck does sugartits even mean’ #goldenglobes— Bec Shaw (@Brocklesnitch) January 11, 2016
Alan Cumming drew on his theatrical training to play shocked:
Director Ridley Scott accepted the award for The Martian, which won best comedy film.
Also, these two are reportedly dating. Think about that while you're enjoying your cornflakes.
...and the best moment of the night? Not a Briton, but the standing ovation for Sylvester Stallone winning best supporting actor was sensational.