The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 280-character musings. For this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
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I know I’ve truly grown into a strong powerful woman because I can still literally do anything while crying
— Charlene deGuzman (@charstarlene) December 14, 2017
I’m fine. pic.twitter.com/uTyAlSy20k
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) December 14, 2017
Being “upgraded” from window to middle seat is a great metaphor for being a woman. Congrats now you get more rm to accommodate 2 other ppl’s needs
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) December 11, 2017
So annoying when men think women date for the free dinners. It's like HELLO we're in it to have the correct music choices explained to us
— Sofiya Alexandra (@TheSofiya) December 11, 2017
Some personal news: I have finally seen a Star War.
— Ella Cerón (@ellaceron) December 12, 2017
Sorta jealous my baby nephew can make death stares at the family and still be called adorable.
— Julie Jingle Bells Burton 🎄 (@ksujulie) December 13, 2017
me watching yall argue about engagement rings from my safe place of having no good reason to get married. pic.twitter.com/3NYgx6Sfai
— king crissle (@crissles) December 12, 2017
*turns to face 2017*
"retire, bitch."
— Sleighlor Trudon🎅🏻 (@taylortrudon) December 14, 2017
MALE REINDEER LOSE THEIR ANTLERS IN WINTER AND FEMALES DON'T THEREFORE SANTA'S SLEIGH IS ACTUALLY PULLED BY A TEAM OF STRONG, POWERFUL, UNDERRATED WOMEN!!!!! YOU GO, GIRLS!! I SEE YOU!!!
— Cat Reynolds (@catreynoldsnyc) December 11, 2017
I won’t have an opinion on Meghan Markle until she starts wearing fascinators.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) December 11, 2017
I 👏🏼 FEEL 👏🏼 STRONGLY 👏🏼 ABOUT 👏🏼 fuck is anyone still reading this
— not karley 🎄 (@Itskarleytime) December 13, 2017
NO MONDAY FORMED AGAINST ME SHALL PROSPER
— Brokey the Christmas Heaux (@brokeymcpoverty) December 11, 2017
it’s like I want to get a Christmas tree but it’s just gonna set off a magical chain of holiday surprises that turn my life upside down and teach me how to love again
— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) December 14, 2017
Me saying goodbye to 2017 and henlooo to 2018 pic.twitter.com/LbGt9YDfaf
— sneaky dogfriend (@GrrlGhost) December 11, 2017
my dad has been telling me for years about various friendly encounters with Mike, another resident of his apartment building he really likes and i found out yesterday that Mike is a dog
— monica heisey (@monicaheisey) December 13, 2017
*Builds a fort out of all the Amazon Prime boxes in my house*
— Bianca LaVagina (@AnitaHelmet) December 10, 2017
“actually...” pic.twitter.com/A9wRjWr4Nq
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) November 15, 2017
A snack haiku:
Some crumbs in my scarf
From crackers I ate today
Not mad about it
— Christy Havranek (@diopter) December 15, 2017
please help me my sister just said ed sheeran looks like an imaginary friend and ive stopped breathing.
— x (@thxlxttxrx) December 14, 2017
[shoving glitter glue and felt pens back into my bag, visibly upset] ok look all I'm saying is maybe you guys shouldn't have called it a 'craft brewery' because people are gonna get the wrong idea and lemme tell you Karen this has been a big let down
— Gracie Hoos (@cottoncandaddy) December 13, 2017