In what looks like the latest festive wonderland to go wrong, an event in London that promised “unlimited cheese, mulled wine and fun” has left many people furious.
For almost £40, visitors were told to expect The Giant Cheeseboard, a pasteurised paradise topped off with waiters dressed as mice.
UNLIMITED CHEESE! 😍😍😍
6 Days until this dream is a reality here on the terrace...https://t.co/KitjETMc7npic.twitter.com/YTcW3F2RW5
— studio338 (@studio338) December 10, 2017
The organisers boasted on Facebook:
“Basically, think Honey I shrunk the kids...if they were lucky enough to find themselves in a cheese and wine heaven. With great music and loads of other beautiful cheese lovers to party with.”
But the reality appeared to be much different.
So #giantcheeseboard was a SHIT show. Lied to us. False advertising. @MailOnline@TimeOutLondon this is an event which scammed people out of up to £40, lied, wont refund and now are deleting reviews.
— Mark Byrne (@markyb_88) December 16, 2017
The complaints were many and varied. From the cheese delivery van showing up late and long queues to get into the Greenwhich venue to a distinct lack of double-size fireplaces as advertised.
But more offensive to foodies appeared to be the poor-quality cheeses that were of limited variety, and a supply of basic and dry crackers. Both of which kept running out.
Not quite the “giant immersive cheese board” as billed in listings magazines, as the pictures seemed to attest.
Any chance we'll get some cheese today? #GiantCheeseboardpic.twitter.com/WDye01ufX8
— The Flying Raccoon (@flyraccoonfly) December 16, 2017
Cannot overstate how bleak this is pic.twitter.com/9j9uaDS7sD
— Kate Solomon (@katiesol) December 16, 2017
The people struggle for the last scraps of Camembert. The suffering has gone on too long. pic.twitter.com/Qtyd7CBodE
— Tom Capon (@TomCapon) December 16, 2017
A lone cheese plate on a bus stop #giantcheeseboardpic.twitter.com/xraNCe1uGc
— Tom Capon (@TomCapon) December 16, 2017
#GiantCheeseboard this is one of the most depressing things I've seen pic.twitter.com/Ufs8rz3sHK
— petestravelogue (@petestravelogue) December 16, 2017
Just got inside and it’s gone from bad to worse - no cheese, the staff aren’t allowed to cut it, no crackers. @studio338 please let me know who to contact to get a full refund #giantcheeseboardpic.twitter.com/y3YAjcL8QK
— Cat Johnson (@cagilb82) December 16, 2017
One person who attended wrote on Instagram:
“The marketing: ‘The Giant Cheese Board’, ‘a massive, oversized cheese board. One you can walk around on as if you’re in a giants kitchen’ - the best artisan cheeses from across Europe, including a huge baked Camembert, unlimited mulled wine, cheesecake and double-size fireplaces.
“The reality: plates of chopped up British cheeses, mostly hard, some caterers packs of chutney, no Camembert (baked or not), queues for cold and very sweet ‘low alcohol’ mulled wine, no cheesecake, and a screen projecting the image of a fire.”
Oh yes, the bad mulled wine.
#GiantCheeseboard Long queue for 2 cold, tasteless cheeses, tepid watered down mulled wine. Finally! Joined the throng of people leaving. What are the chances of getting our money back???? Pigs might fly, while Tom Anderson has a pocket load of dosh. #giantcheedeboard#disgrace
— Lucy Heath (@lucyheath19) December 16, 2017
We queued for 40 minutes to find out it is low alcohol mulled wine pic.twitter.com/AGVJHIW7pP
— Tom Capon (@TomCapon) December 16, 2017
And more negative reviews poured in.
Claims of unlimited artisan cheese, mulled wine and a giant camembert were FALSE. Instead, people waiting for budget cheese piled onto sad crackers handed out by staff in Tom & Jerry costumes. Abysmal. Only funny because I had a press ticket. Some paid £40! #thegiantcheeseboard
— Abha Shah (@BrimfulOfAShah) December 16, 2017
The only thing giant about this cheese board was that it was a total giant waste of time. 5 different types of cheese are you fucking kidding me, no giant camembert, ran out of bread, chorizo, crackers, grapes, cold mulled wine, 90 minute wait to get in #giantcheeseboard
— Kevin Chun (@peanutter571) December 16, 2017
It didn’t take long for comparisons to the Fyre Festival, the “luxury music festival” that went very wrong, to emerge.
Me and @hannahjdavies are at the Giant Cheeseboard which is very much the fyre festival of novelty cheese based events
— Kate Solomon (@katiesol) December 16, 2017
If you want cheering up today, I heartily recommend looking at #giantcheeseboard hashtag, for a very British Fyre Festival.
— Sugar Icebox Plum Fairy (@stavvers) December 17, 2017
Hint: everyone paid a lot of money. Nobody's getting any cheese.
Did Ja Rule show up https://t.co/hRXX0JSPvw
— Dawn Herod Foster (@DawnHFoster) December 16, 2017
Beyond the broader issues, some even seized on the detail to suggest it hadn’t been thought through properly.
Why is there people dressed as Tom the Cat at #giantcheeseboard, surely it should be Jerry? Even the character organisation is shocking!!
— Martin (@mleowclifford) December 16, 2017