Yup, it's Valentine Week and it's all about love!
Are you're single and having a panic attack at the thought of being the only one not coupled up in a love nest on the 14th? If so you've been watching too many re-runs of Sex and the City. Here some good reason why being single is the best. Read on.
You are NOT in a lousy relationship just because you're frightened of being single.
Researchers from the University of Toronto published the results of a study that shows how being afraid of being single actually compromises your love life. The results showed that people with the fear of being single had lower expectations of a relationship. What that means is that some people will stay in a lousy relationship because they are too afraid of being single. If you are single you can give yourself credit for not being in this position. After all, you only live once. Don't be with someone for the simple reason that you're to afraid to be alone. Enjoy being alone and choose your next partner with care and don't settle for less!
You can build strong relationships.
Without the other person to distract you, single people are often much more willing and able to develop strong friendships. How many times have you lost a good friend because they fell in love and invested all their time and energy into their new relationship? That could have been you! Instead single people are much more likely to help out family and friends and invest their time in nurturing these relationships.
You can also develop your time to causes and interests that you care about which helps build a strong identity and increases your self esteem. When your self worth is in built, and not dependant on another person's approval, you become a stronger, happier person.
You learn to love yourself and you don't rely on others to make you happy
That is the point of being alone - learning to make yourself happy because when you're happy, you invite good relationships into your life. But how do you get happy? Well, our need for love and respect or, in the words of the professionals, validation and affirmation, is what makes us happy but the issue is not what but from where.
If you look for love and respect from other people, you will never be happy. Surviving on others approval surrenders your ability to look after ourselves and become needy for persistent validation from others. You put yourself in their hands and at their mercy. It sounds like a crazy thing to do but we all do it. The key is, to what extent? If you look for others' approval more than 50% of the time, you are in trouble. If you look for others approval less than 10% of the time, you are independent.
So how to get to less than 10%? Here are some tips:
- Make a list of what you love to do
- Look in the mirror and have a conversation with yourself about how you're going to do what you love to do
- Put a plan in action
- If that's hard, reach out to someone and examine why
- Find ways of being of service to others
- Book dates with friends
- Practice a gratitude diary; this will fill up your love cup (that warm fuzzy feeling inside)
- Practice mindfulness
- Take up yoga
- Practice powerful affirmations like I'm committing to me and my life and no longer living it for others' approval
- Each day make a note of how high your self love (from 1-10) and watch is rise over the next 4 weeks
Image by Arztsamui
You're single so enjoy it. Here's 17 ways you can:
- Flirt without guilt
- Solo travel - says it all
- No small talk at home
- Not afraid of being cheated on
- Not having to confer before you say 'yes' to a night out with your mates
- Leave the bathroom door open
- Be sexually adventurous
- And be the envy of your married friends
- Not having to attend events because you are 'the other half' where you don't know anyone and there's not enough alcohol
- Fall in love with yourself all over again
- Not checking your browser history is still on your phone
- Wearing your dodgy PJ's
- Do whatever you want
- Enjoy not being told how much chocolate you can eat, wine you can drink, fries you can have
- Live to excess
- Date EVERYONE!
- Finally, if you are a screwed up, commitment phobic, sex addicted singleton you can wallow in your own dysfunctional behaviour without having to explain yourself to anybody!