How To Deal With Being Given Totally Crap Christmas Presents

Oh good, more socks.
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Being visibly ungrateful for presents is a cardinal sin at Christmas. That said, a study has shown that some people simply aren’t capable of feeling gratitude (apparently).

However, on the basis your family missed that memo, you’re gonna need a better excuse. So here are 10 ways to take it on the chin like the selfless champ you are.

1. Maintain a poker face. 

The globally recognised go-to. You want to master the fine line between happy and surprised.  

2. Throw a tantrum. 

The ultimate response. But can really burn bridges if you’re over five years old. 

3. Gasp in adoration.  

Can be used to mask disgust but will result in being rewarded with crap presents for the next two decades.

4. Straight up lie. 

And hope your mum doesn’t realise. 

5. Hide it in the turkey. 

Preferably when no one is looking. 

6. Destroy it.

*Blame the dog*

7. Make mental note to re-gift in January. 

People with January birthdays must own so many mini toiletries.   

8. Sell it on eBay. 

A website primarily created for shifting all the shit you acquire over Christmas. 

9. Get drunk. 

When you’ve had nine glasses of Bucks Fizz, every present is as good as an iPhone. 

10. Ask for the receipt. 

Why don’t you just go ahead and punch your grandma in the face you cruel bastard.

11. Be genuinely grateful. 

It’s not that hard you know.