Unbelievably, some people are still shocked by the idea that people with different skin colours might want to date each other.
On Reddit, interracial couples have been sharing the problems they encounter because of their relationship.
From ignorant comments from family to abuse from strangers on the street, here are their heartbreaking, infuriating and downright ridiculous stories.
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“I’m a white man who is marrying a biracial man (his father was black, his mother is white) this summer. It’s actually interesting sometimes trying to decide if people are looking at us funny because we’re a same sex couple, because we’re an interracial couple, or because of both.”
“I’m white and my fiance is Filipina. When we first started dating my dad, although not in a derogatory or malevolent way, kept referring to her as ‘oriental’. I finally had to take him aside and politely ask him to stop, which thankfully he did without question. He loves her nearly as much as I do!”
“My husband is half-Asian and I am an Italian/Irish girl. My dad, a slightly racist 60something, just thinks our kids are going to be really good at math.”
“My husband is half Indo-Trinidadian and I’m white. Not had any racism from the family but I’ve had a British dude harass me for ‘fucking a p**i’ and, since we live in Texas and my husband is brown, everyone assumes he is Mexican and tries speaking to him in Spanish.”
“My girlfriend in high school was black. I’m white and we were in a small, white community. The only time we ever heard anything blatantly racist was when we were on a date in the ‘big city’ and a crusty old black guy told us what he thought of our relationship. He shook his head at us and said: ‘You shouldn’t be together’ as he walked past. It was strange.”
“I’m blonde hair blue-eyed and my boyfriend is indigenous Peruvian, my brother is dating a black woman and my sister is dating an Indian man. We are from the south. My cousin said that we are destroying the white race. Unfortunately, we are not the masterminds of any such plan.”
“My boyfriend is white/Syrian and I am black. All of the obvious comments we get are from black men. Either they praise my boyfriend for being able to pick up a black woman or they try and intimidate us somehow. After five years, we have gotten good at avoiding these situations.”
“When I dated a Muslim guy of Iranian heritage, the only trouble I had was from my fellow white people. Friends, family, even strangers all had something to say.
“They all said: ‘He will make you convert to Islam. He will make you wear a hijab/burqa’. If you have kids with him, he’ll take them away to the Middle East. He will take YOU to the Middle East. He will beat/abuse you.’
“We dealt with it by laughing at it. At first it really hurt us both, especially him (nicest gentleman ever), but we eventually just laughed at people’s offensive comments and repeated them back like a joke. It usually made people realise how stupid they sounded.”
“I’m a white male and my SO of a year is black...We are concerned about race relations in the US as well as mass incarceration. We’ve talked a lot about how any sons we may have would be subjected to a higher level of police scrutiny than either of us.”
“I’m white and my ex was black. Never really had much of an issue apart from me being called a ‘N....r lover’ by a drunken ‘friend’.
“She was once called a race traitor by a black guy she knew. Honestly we didn’t give a fuck. I loved her and she loved me and that’s all we needed at the time.|
"Ask yourself one key question, can I assume positive intent when it comes to this person?” says holistic coach Ekene Onu. This matters because in most good relationships, the answer is yes — and changing your mindset to consider that can provide you with needed perspective. "Even when your partner does something that impacts you negatively, if you can assume positive intent then your approach to conflict resolution will likely be different because you know that they didn't intend to hurt you,” she says. (credit:Tetra Images via Getty Images)
Laying Blame(02 of11)
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Constantly looking for someone to blame in the relationship when things go wrong can really add a negative tone to your interactions over time. "Instead of blaming your partner for something you don't like or upsets you, try a softer approach like saying, 'I feel upset or hurt when you leave your clothes on the floor after I told you that bothers me,’” says psychotherapist Jessica Marchena. “You can also say, 'I feel unheard and my feelings don't matter to you.’" (credit:Jupiterimages, Brand X Pictures via Getty Images)
Waking Up On The Wrong Side Of The Bed(03 of11)
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Make an effort to start the day off on a positive note by avoiding morning nagging and arguing, says blogger Surabhi Surendra. "Morning is the most important time of the day and thus if spent peacefully and in a loving, thankful way can lead to a peaceful, happy day,” she says. (credit:Picturenet via Getty Images)
No Longer Sharing Your Dreams(04 of11)
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Couples often share their dreams with each other in their early days, Onu says, but don’t necessarily keep that up over the years. They might stop for a variety of reasons, big and small — but continuing to picture your partner in your future dreams can help you keep him or her in your resent, she says. (credit:Betsie Van Der Meer via Getty Images)
Becoming Complacent(05 of11)
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It’s natural that after a long period of time together, you fall into a day-to-day routine. And when we all live such busy lives, it can be hard to break from the regular cycle of work-kids-housework-repeat. But that can lead couples to feel more like roommates than romantic partners. "You can repair this issue by setting goals together for you as a romantic couple,” says relationship coach Ravid Yosef. “Try date nights, holding each other while watching TV, sitting down for dinner and speaking to each other — kid-free, logistics-free talk time or doing things you love doing together." (credit:MaxRiesgo via Getty Images)
Never Saying 'I Love You'(06 of11)
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Never saying “I love you”: Making a point of sharing your feelings, even briefly, can be a good reminder to you and your partner of why you’re in for the long haul when things are tough day to day. "This builds emotional connection,” says Marchena. "Even sending an 'I love you' text lets your mate know that you are thinking of them." (credit:Barbara Penoyar via Getty Images)
Cutting Out The Kisses(07 of11)
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It’s easy for little gestures like hugs and kisses to slowly fall out of a relationship, but they’re important to hold on to because they can help maintain your intimacy in small ways when life is busy. "I have been married for more than six years and we still begin our mornings either with a kiss or a hug,” Surendra says. "Nothing can beat this daily ritual." (credit:Halfdark via Getty Images)
Always Being (Digitally) Connected(08 of11)
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Just making a point of spending time together that doesn’t involve screens can increase you emotional connection by giving you more opportunities to really talk, or to cuddle without phones and laptops in the way. "Put the phone down after a certain time and do something together, even if it is just watching TV or a movie,” Marchena says. "And also make a rule that there are to be no screens at the dinner table. Or cuddle and be together without the screens." (credit:mediaphotos via Getty Images)
Doing Everything Separately(09 of11)
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"Shared experiences bond partners,” Onu says. You don’t have to do everything together — but if the only experiences you share are the mundane ones of running your household, then you’re missing out on a simple way to grow your bond as a couple. "Make an effort to have more shared experiences than not,” Onu suggests. “It gives you something to remember when things get tough.” Getting back to that can be as simple as scheduling a regular date night, signing up for a class together, or planning a vacation with just the two of you. (credit:DavidsAdventures via Getty Images)
Living In The Past(10 of11)
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"We're neurologically programmed to predict the future based on our past,” says Yosef, "and so we make a lot of assumptions about how our partner feels and how they will react instead of actually acknowledging what's happening in the moment and dealing with it appropriately.” Take the time to be mindful of your thoughts and what is really behind them before you just run on them based on past behaviour in your relationships or assumptions about your partner’s intentions. “Ask yourself, is this a feeling or a fact?” she says. (credit:Daniel Laflor via Getty Images)
Never Looking Inward(11 of11)
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"Self awareness is a powerful tool of success in every area of life — particularly in relationships,” Onu says. Take some time to think about who you are and what you need from a relationship. For example, are you an introvert who needs regular alone time to recharge and bring your best self to your partner? Knowing things like that can help your relationship by making it easier to explain your needs to your partner, or to understand theirs. (credit:Jupiterimages via Getty Images)