Man Born With No Genitals Has Gender Confirmed 25 Years Later
Man Born With No Genitals Has Gender Confirmed 25 Years Later
Natasha Hinde— The Huffington Post UK
|
Joe Holliday lived 25 years of his life before he found out his true gender.
Holliday was born in 1988 with a severe birth defect called Cloacal Exstrophy, which causes the bladder and a portion of the intestines to become exposed outside of the abdomen.
According to the Urology Care Foundation, in males the penis is either flat and short or sometimes split, and in females the clitoris is split and there may be two vaginal openings.
When Holliday was born, doctors were incredibly confused as to what his sex was. So, for the first 25 years of his life he was shadowed by uncertainty surrounding his gender and identity.
But after taking a series of tests, Joe has finally been told he is male. And it's changed his life.
Open Image Modal
Joe appeared on ITV's This Morning back in 1998 as a girl, Joella.
Now, aged 27, Holliday has revealed how that period of his life was "very strange".
From birth up until childhood, Holliday was raised as a baby boy. But doctors soon advised his parents that it would be best to raise him as a girl.
Joe became Joella, and life suddenly changed for the youngster.
Back in 1998, Holliday appeared on ITV's This Morning with Richard and Judy to speak about the ordeal which involved winning a high-profile legal battle to get his birth certificate changed to recognise him as female.
Joe, who is now 27, is comfortable living as a male.
Speaking to Eamonn Holmes and Ruth Langsford, while watching a clip back from his first appearance on the show, Holliday - who is now male - said: "It was a very strange time in my life. We had been fighting so long to get me recognised as a girl that at that point in my life, I was very adamant that I was.
"I had spent such a long time drumming it into my own mind that that’s who I was. I was only ten."
Holliday revealed that it took nine years for them to get an amendment on his birth certificate. During this time, doctors had argued that it would be incredibly difficult for Holliday to grow up male without a penis, so it was best if he was a girl.
It was only when he underwent further tests to investigate his gender that Holliday found out what he'd hoped for all along - he was male.
"I went to talk to a specialist regarding medication and they did a chromosome test as part of the course, and that came back male," he said.
"So from then on I first went through denial, then accepting, then thinking that it wouldn’t really matter, and then eventually coming to the realisation that ‘no, that’s how I was born, that’s what I want to go through the rest of my life as’..."
Since discovering his true gender, Joe said he feels so much more "positive".
"My concerns were always about my family and how they would take that, but they’ve been brilliant," he said. "It’s certainly led me down a path where I see a future. Whereas before, there wasn’t one for me."
9 Ways Parents Can Combat Gender Stereotypes
Take Gender Out Of Your Language(01 of09)
Open Image Modal
Try to focus less on gender differences in general, Brown said. One way is to remove gendered speech from your language as much as you can. Constantly referring to people by their sex or gender labels it to children as something that matters very much, she said, and therefore tells them that it's an important part of who they are -- perhaps more important than factors like their personality or strengths. “I try to just make it not something that really comes up much,” she advised. (credit:thebang via Getty Images)
Focus On Your Individual Child(02 of09)
Open Image Modal
“There's a lot of individual differences among children that don't follow gender lines,” Brown said. It's far more productive to focus on the things about our children that have nothing to do with sex or gender: their likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses, and personality traits.“The reality is that gender is pretty irrelevant for predicting what kids are like,” she said. Moving away from a focus on what boys are like and what girls are like allows us to instead discover what is actually unique about our child. (credit:Paul Bradbury via Getty Images)
Know The Research(03 of09)
Open Image Modal
“It's important to know the facts,” Brown said. “[Parents] should know that there's no differences whether they have boys or girls in terms of academic differences, personality, etc.” In fact, when studying infants and young children, the research shows very few inherent differences based on sex, she said. Boys tend to have a bit less inhibitory control at birth and girls tend to talk earlier, though this does even out as male and female children age.In general, Brown said, research tends to match what we know about development in general -- as in, differences that show up between boys and girls as they get older are related to how we treat male and female children differently, not due to any inherent differences between the sexes. (credit:Chris Ryan via Getty Images)
Learn About The Harms For Girls(04 of09)
Open Image Modal
While studies show only slight differences based on sex, they do illustrate that a strong focus on gender norms can be harmful, Brown said. For girls, the negative effects can include poor body image due to the universal value placed on appearance, specifically, a very narrow definition of acceptable appearance for females.For example, Brown said, “By the time they're 12 years old more than 70 percent of girls aren't happy with how they look.” In addition, we've seen that girls stay away from careers in science and math (STEM careers) because they perceive themselves as weaker in those subjects, even when research shows that their actual abilities are the same as for boys. (credit:AE Pictures Inc. via Getty Images)
And The Harms For Boys(05 of09)
Open Image Modal
But gender stereotypes can hurt boys too. “One of the most disturbing outcomes of stereotypes for boys is that we really tell boys that you shouldn't cry, and parents worry if they're son is very sensitive,” Brown said. Parents can focus too much on trying to avoid introversion and push assertiveness on boys who just don't fit that personality type. But studies don't show any differences between boys and girls tending towards being natural introverts, she said.At the same time as we could be preventing boys from expressing their feelings, we give them aggressive outlets like violent toys. “We shouldn't be surprised that boys grow up and don't know how to handle sadness and feelings well and show a lot more aggression,” she said. (credit:Blend Images -- KidStock via Getty Images)
Start Paying Attention Young(06 of09)
Open Image Modal
Many new parents are surprised by how quickly the focus on gender begins. For example, have you ever tried to find a shirt with a cat on it for a boy? Somewhere along the line it was decided that pink is for girls and blue is for boys, and cats are for girls and dogs are for boys, and clothing and toys for even the youngest children often falls strictly on these arbitrary divisions. This can extend to our behaviour towards boy and girl children as well. Brown mentioned research that shows that people tend to read and speak more to female babies, using more complicated vocabulary, and other studies show that the number and quality of words young children hear can affect their educational success later. (credit:Image taken by Mayte Torres via Getty Images)
Think Traits, Not Sex(07 of09)
Open Image Modal
Toys are not just fun for kids; they're also a learning tool. When selecting playthings for your child, break away from thinking in terms of gender or a particular section of the toy store. Instead, choose toys that foster traits you want to encourage in your children, or help them learn particular skills you value.Do you want your child to be nurturing and empathetic? Then provide baby dolls, for boys and girls. Lego and blocks help all children develop spatial skills, and ball play improves hand-eye coordination whether your child is male or female. “We want to make sure we teach the traits that are important,” Brown said, “not the toys that fit ‘their’ half of the toy store.” (credit:Jade and Bertrand Maitre via Getty Images)
Get Family On Board(08 of09)
Open Image Modal
Are you working on busting gender stereotypes in your own home only to feel undermined when grandma or grandpa says that dolls are only for little girls, or that all boys like to play rough? It can be tricky to get family members on board, but it's worth trying. This will ensure your children are hearing messages that matter to you and to make your family values clear.Brown said that a discussion can often avoid problems. Even if your parents or in-laws don't agree with your decision to keep your children from playing with guns or fashion dolls, they may still respect it. Barring that, she suggested, there's always the donation bin at your local thrift store. “I think it's alright to say ‘These are my kids, and I can decide what they have and how they dress,’” she said. (credit:Sam Edwards via Getty Images)
Correct The Stereotypes(09 of09)
Open Image Modal
“Kids about three years old start to believe gender stereotypes,” Brown said. That's why it's important to consistently correct stereotypes about gender and sex when your child hears them or uses them, even if they seem harmless or silly.But it doesn't need to be a lecture or something that requires a deep discussion each time. For example, you can say things like, “Boys and girls both like to play with trucks. Your friend Jenny likes trucks a lot, doesn't she?” The key factor is making those corrections every time you hear a stereotype, Brown said, providing your children with the language they need to do it on their own when they're older and coming across stereotypes in the media or outside their homes. (credit:images by Tang Ming Tung via Getty Images)