The Key To A Happy Marriage Revealed (And It Has Nothing To Do With Sex) | HuffPost Life

What One Piece Of Advice Would Married Couples Give Newlyweds?

Rachel Moss— The Huffington Post UK

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When married couples were asked what advice they would give to newlyweds, we half expected them to cynically say "enjoy the honeymoon sex while it lasts."

But it turns out most couples do not think getting hot and steamy in the bedroom is the key to a happy marriage. Instead, they rate honest conversation above all else.

A study of 2,000 men and women who have been married for 10 years or more revealed the most common advice they'd give newlyweds is to talk to each other.

Only 1% of those surveyed said a good sex life was important in a successful marriage, leaving hanky panky way down in 18th place.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, "keep going", "work at it" and "don’t give up on the marriage too easily" were all in the top five choices, showing marriage isn't a walk in the park for many.

At number 13 was the cutting "don't get married" - ouch.

Sarah Thompson, a lawyer for Slater & Gordon who commissioned the study, told the MailOnline: "What's clear from my work as a family lawyer is that marriage can be hard work.

"Sadly, despite the best intentions in the world, not every marriage will last forever.

"As this research has shown, communication and compromise can be the key to a happy marriage, but they are also the attributes that can help resolve a relationship that is over in the best possible way for all parties involved."

Top tips for a happy marriage:

1. Talk

2. Compromise

3. Keep going

4. Work at it

5. Don’t give up on the marriage too easily

6. Don’t go to bed on an argument

7. Be patient

8. Listen

9. Be honest

10. Have respect

11. Be tolerant

12. Have realistic expectations

13. Don’t get married

14. Do things together

15. Communicate

16. Be tolerant

17. Be faithful

18. Have a good sex life

19. Be friends

20. Give each other space

SEE ALSO:
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Marriage Findings From The Last 5 Years

Men With Attractive Wives Have Happier Marriages(01 of16)

An October 2013 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology suggests an attractive wife leads to a more satisfying marriage.Psychologist Andrea Meltzer tracked over 450 newlywed couples during the course of four years and discovered that spousal attractiveness plays a major role in marital satisfaction -- but only for men. Interestingly, the attractive wives also reported higher levels of satisfaction, all because having a happy hubby made them happier too.

Gut Reaction To Your Spouse May Predict Marital Happiness (02 of16)

A study published in November 2013 in the journal Science says newlyweds' gut feelings about their relationship can accurately predict their likelihood of marital happiness in the long run.James K. McNulty, an associate professor of psychology, studied 135 newlywed couples for four year and found that feelings initially verbalized in interviews with the couples had little to no effect on their marital satisfaction, despite how in love they said they were, but subconscious gut-level feelings played a major role. Couples who had positive gut feelings (measured by a computer test) were much happier in their nuptials over time, versus the couples who had negative gut-level reactions.

Couples Fight More After A Bad Night's Sleep(03 of16)

Bad sleep can make your marital fights worse.A study out of UC Berkeley published in May 2013 in the journal of Social Psychological and Personality Science found that couples are more likely to fight after having a bad night's sleep.Researchers conducted two experiments using 149 couples. In both experiments, the people who reported having worse sleep also had more conflicts and worse conflict-resolution skills the next day.

Wives Matter More When It Comes To Resolving Marital Spats(04 of16)

A November 2013 study out of UC Berkeley found that a wife's ability to regain composure after an argument was far more important than her husband's in regards to long-term marital satisfaction.Lian Bloch, an assistant professor at the Pacific Graduate School of Psychology in Palo Alto, California, analyzed more than 80 couples and took into consideration the couples' body language, facial expressions, tone of voice and topics of discussion following points of contention. They discovered wives' recovery time after conflicts had a larger impact on the relationship than the husbands' both in the long and short term thanks to their ability to discuss and offer solutions. But the study showed the opposite is the case for married men.“Ironically, this may not work so well for husbands, whose wives often criticize them for leaping into problem-solving mode too quickly," explained the researchers. (credit:Gettystock)

Marriage Is More Important To Happiness Than Salary Or Owning A Home(05 of16)

Being married is 20 times more important to a person's happiness than their earnings and 13 times more important than owning a home, according to the U.K.'s Office of National Statistics, who surveyed 165,000 British people about their life satisfaction and anxiety levels. The survey, published in May 2013, found that being married was the third most important factor related to happiness and well-being, after health and employment status. Being married had a greater impact on happiness than religion and having children, and married people reported being happier than those who are cohabitating, single, divorced or widowed.

Couples Are Happiest Three Years After The Wedding(06 of16)

According to a survey from September 2013 conducted by U.K. law firm Slater & Gordon, married couples are happiest in their third year of marriage.Researchers polled 2,000 people and determined that a couple's first year of marriage was typically filled with post-wedding happiness, and the second year of marriage was dedicated to getting to know each one another.The third year was found to be the happiest time in a couple's marriage, which the researchers attribute to becoming comfortable within the relationship and starting to plan a family. Couples were also used to sharing finances by their third year together.The couples polled reported that the fifth year of marriage was a difficult one due to tiredness, increased workloads, and for some couples, children.

Your Spouse's Voice Is Easier To Hear Than Unfamiliar Voices(07 of16)

According to a study published in the August 2013 issue of Psychological Science, people perceive their spouse’s voice more clearly than other unfamiliar voices.Researchers asked married couples between the ages of 44 and 79 to record themselves reading a script. Then, each participant listened to their partner's recording, as it played simultaneously with a recording of an unfamiliar voice of the same age and gender.They found that the subjects performed better at accurately perceiving their spouse's voice over the unfamiliar one.

Online Gaming Can Hurt Your Marriage(08 of16)

According to a Brigham Young University study, couples reported lower marital satisfaction when one spouse's gaming interfered with bedtime routines. Seventy-five percent of gamers' spouses wished their partners would put more effort into their marriages; however, when both spouses gamed, a majority reported greater satisfaction in their relationships. (credit:Alamy)

The "Honeymoon Phase" Is A Myth(09 of16)

It turns out couples are happiest AFTER their first year of marriage, according to an Australian study. Newlyweds were found to have a lower happiness score than couples who had been married longer. Researcher Melissa Weinberg attributed this to a "wedding hangover," or the depressed feeling couples get when the wedding is over and the marriage begins. (credit:Shutterstock)

Getting Angry Can Help Your Relationship(10 of16)

Florida State University researchers discovered that short-term angry discussions can actually be beneficial. Getting angry can help signal that certain behavior from your partner is unacceptable, said lead researcher James McNulty. (credit:Shutterstock)

Cohabitating Couples Shown To Be Happier Than Married Couples(11 of16)

A study released in January found that while married couples exhibited health gains (most likely due to marriage benefits such as shared health plans), unmarried cohabitating couples experienced greater happiness and self-esteem.Clarification: Language has been amended in this slide to represent more accurately the findings of the report. (credit:Shutterstock)

The Later You Have Sex, The Better Your Relationships(12 of16)

Researchers at the University of Texas at Austin found that having sexual intercourse at a later age corresponded with less dissatisfaction with relationships in adulthood. Higher education level and household income also corresponded to a later age of first sexual experience. (credit:Shutterstock)

Interracial Marriage Rates And Acceptance Rising(13 of16)

Not only are more interracial couples marrying, but interracial marriage is more widely accepted than ever before. In 2010, 15 percent of new marriages in the U.S. were between spouses of different races; in 1980, only 6.7 percent of marriages were interracial. (credit:Shutterstock)

Married People Are Healthier, Live Longer Than Singles(14 of16)

Studies show that married couples experience lower levels of cancer, heart disease, depression and stress. The health benefits are even more pronounced for marrieds than for couples who are simply cohabiting. (credit:Shutterstock)

Young People Expect Marriages To Last(15 of16)

A survey found that 86 percent of single and married people aged 18-29 expect their marriages to last a lifetime. Researcher Jeffrey Jensen Arnett told HuffPost that young people tend to have a romantic view of marriage and go into marriage determined to make it work. (credit:Shutterstock)

Married Women Drink More Than Single Women(16 of16)

A study on marriage and alcohol found that women drink more after getting married, possibly because they are influenced by their husbands (on average, men drink more than women). Men, on the other hand, were found to drink less after getting hitched. (credit:Shutterstock)

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