A-Z Illustrations Share Sex Stories Of People With Disabilities To End Stigma Once And For All | HuffPost Life

People With Disabilities Share Sex Stories To End Stigma Once And For All

Natasha Hinde— The Huffington Post UK

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A meagre 5% of people have asked out or been on a date with a disabled person.

And it's this very reason that disability charity Scope has launched a series of illustrations, to help challenge popular assumptions and break down barriers surrounding dating, disability and sex.

The insightful series, which includes 26 illustrations in alphabetical order, has been produced as part of Scope's End the Awkward campaign. The illustrations are by graphic artist Pâté, otherwise known as Paul Pateman, and they are a little NSFW.

Each letter has a blog post, film or image behind it. For example, 'M' stands for myths - laying bare common misconceptions like ‘disabled people can’t have sex’. Meanwhile 'T' is for Tinder, in which disabled people share their internet dating stories.

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"End the Awkward is all about challenging attitudes to disability in an open and light-hearted way," says Richard Lane, head of campaigns at Scope.

"We want people to relax and not let their assumptions about disability and sex get in the way of what could be an amazing connection with another person. The important thing is to focus on the person and the connection, not the impairment.

"We hope our cheeky A to Z will be a conversation starter and will help end the stigma that still surrounds sex and disability."

Sex Stories From Disabled People

A is for Amputee(01 of26)

Scope ambassador and star of Channel 4’s 'The Last Leg' Alex Brooker shares a morning after story that anyone who wears a prosthetic limb will be able to sympathise with.

“I cannot tell you the panic that goes through a person’s body when you cannot locate all of your limbs!"

For a sneak preview, click here. (credit:Scope)

B is for Burlesque(02 of26)

Corsets, costumes and tassels – burlesque performer and aerialist Amelia Cavallo, who is blind, talks about her new show, Showgirlies, confronting feelings of vulnerability and feeling empowered to be sexy blind.

Read more. (credit:Scope)

C is for Coffee(03 of26)

Disabled actor Mat Fraser challenges the assumptions people who aren’t disabled make about disabled people and sex in this short film. (credit:Scope)

D is for Dating(04 of26)

To tackle the nation’s awkwardness around disability, Channel 4, in partnership with Scope, released a new Shorts series. (credit:Scope)

E is for Experimenting(05 of26)

"Becoming disabled has encouraged me to explore the boundaries of what sexuality, sex and sensuality looks like, and make that something that’s a lot more holistic," says Emily Swiatek, a disability employment consultant who is in her late 20s.

Swiatek talks about how her impairment has affected her sex life, how disabled sex encourages experimentation and why there’s a need to talk about the positive side of sex and disability.

Read more. (credit:Scope)

F is for Flaunt It(06 of26)

Enhance the UK, which provides disability awareness training, is releasing a collection of intimate photographs of disabled people proudly showing off their bodies as part of their Undressing Disability campaign, which aims to change perceptions of sex and disability.

Read more. (credit:Scope)

G is for Gay(07 of26)

or bisexual, or lesbian, or trans (LGBT)...

To mark National Coming Out Day, Charlie Willis a young disabled man talks about multiple comings out – telling people about being bisexual and his impairment.

Read more. (credit:Scope)

H is for Happy Endings(08 of26)

Kelly Perks-Bevington talks about meeting, falling in love with and marrying her husband Jareth.

She says: “There were times when I thought I’d never get a ‘happy ending’. I doubted myself, and thought that I could never be found sexually attractive… That all changed when I met Jaz at college."

Watch the video here. (credit:Scope)

I is for Intimacy(09 of26)

Sam Cleasby, who has Inflammatory Bowel Disease, talks about how her condition affects her relationship with her husband and why being open and honest is best, especially when there’s an ostomy bag filled with poo in the bedroom. (credit:Scope)

J is for Johnny(10 of26)

The sexual health charity FPA gives safe sex advice.

Many people find it awkward to talk about condom use, especially at the start of a sexual relationship, but if you’re going to have safer sex then it’s something you’ll have to talk about at some point!

Non-disabled people might worry about whether a disabled partner will be able to use condoms. Male condoms in particular can be really fiddly to handle, especially for people with physical difficulties such as not being able to grip easily.

But, there’s no reason to let that stop you, says Mel Gadd from FPA.

K is for Kama Sutra(11 of26)

Disabled comedian Romina Puma uses her stand-up set to discuss the ins and outs of the Kama Sutra for disabled people.

She says: "I’m fascinated by all the positions, even non-disabled people would struggle with some of these!" (credit:Scope)

L is for Lips(12 of26)

A heart-warming film of disabled people and their partners kissing to celebrate the best thing you can do with your lips.

Watch it here. (credit:Scope)

M is for Myths(13 of26)

Broadcaster and journalist Mik Scarlet dispels the most common misconceptions about sex and disability such as ‘disabled people can’t have sex’. (credit:Scope)

N is for NSFW (Not Safe For Work)(14 of26)

Writer Penelope Friday talks about mixing sex and disability in the pages of her erotic fiction. She started writing about disabled characters after noticing a gap in the market: “It was as if disabled people never had sex: we didn’t seem to exist in mainstream erotica." (credit:Scope)

O is for Orgasm(15 of26)

Is your partner having a good time, or are they having a seizure? In this video Emily, who has non-epileptic seizures, explains how it can be an easy mistake to make.

Watch it here. (credit:Scope)

P is for PDA(16 of26)

Disabled people share memorable reactions to their PDAs.

Dan and Marie, who uses a wheelchair and has brittle bones, were having a romantic kiss in the moonlight when she noticed a police car slowly driving past. The officer was staring out of the window – he was concentrating so hard on the couple that he ended up crashing into a street sign. (credit:Scope)

Q is for Questions(17 of26)

Enhance the UK’s Love Lounge is a safe space on their website where people can ask questions related to sex, relationships and disability. Their two ‘non-expert sexperts’ offer advice on questions such as ‘will sex hurt with my Cerebral Palsy?’ ‘How can I build my body confidence?’ and ‘I love my partner but they’re treating me like a patient – it’s driving me nuts!’

Read more. (credit:Scope)

R is for Romance(18 of26)

Accessibility consultant Emily Yates writes a love letter to her partner of three years Rob Hughes.

Read it here. (credit:Scope)

S is for Sensation(19 of26)

Lola Olson explains why having sensory processing disorder is a huge bonus when it comes to sex.

She talks about ‘sensation play’ and says: “For me, sex is overwhelming, but in a very good way. Because my senses are so sensitive to different things, it can mean the definition of ‘sex’ can be widened. Because for me, a range of sensations are all part of the same positive overwhelming experience.” (credit:Scope)

T is for Tinder(20 of26)

Tinder and other dating apps are dominating the UK dating scene. Disabled people share their internet dating stories and discus the best time to disclose their impairment. Holly Bea talks about “dropping the D bomb” and some of the responses she’s had, from ‘oh that’s a shame’ to ‘so you’re a virgin then?’ – It seems perceptions of disabled people are pretty warped and based on stereotypes, she writes. (credit:Scope)

U is for Under The Covers(21 of26)

Winter is coming with dark, drawn-in nights and long lie-ins. Ronnie Murray, group head chef at Mark Hix restaurants, who has a shortened left arm, shares some sexy, stamina-inducing recipes for breakfast in bed.

Read more. (credit:Scope)

V is for Vibrator(22 of26)

Whether it’s your magic wand that grants your wishes or a rampant rabbit that hits the spot, vibrators come in all shapes and sizes. Romina Puma, a comedian who has muscular dystrophy, shares her love of vibrators. (credit:Scope)

W is for Would You?(23 of26)

These loved-up partners of disabled people clearly ‘would’. Three lovers share what drew them to their partners and some of the awkward moments they’ve encountered as a couple.

Read more. (credit:Scope)

X is for X-rated(24 of26)

Spinal cord injuries and other impairments can affect the way people feel aroused and reach orgasm. Broadcaster and journalist Mik Scarlet is unable to get an erection after a spinal injury in his teens. He explains how this has led him to explore alternative erogenous zones, multiple orgasms and no end of X-rated fun

Read more. (credit:Scope)

Y is for Yes Oh Yes!(25 of26)

Seeing more on-screen loving with disabled actors playing the romantic lead is the most entertaining way to break down the assumption that disabled people aren’t interested in sex.

As disabled actors recreate the famous ‘faking it’ scene from the classic rom-com When Harry Met Sally, disabled actor Storme Toolis writes about the lack of romantic lead roles for disabled actors. (credit:Scope)

Z is for Zzzz's(26 of26)

As Scope puts its A to Z of sex and disability to bed, the charity asks – how was it for you?

Leave your thoughts in the comments section below. (credit:Scope)

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