We know that one in four people experience depression, but partners don’t always realise what’s happening, according to Caroline Carr, author of mypartnerisdepressed.com, who has personal experience of anxiety and living with a depressed partner.
During Depression Awareness Week, the best-selling author, hypnotherapist and life coach, with practices in Harley Street London, and Dorset, highlights the importance of becoming sensitive to the symptoms of mental illness.
“Unless you know the signs to look out for, you may have no idea that your partner is becoming depressed. You might excuse any changes in behaviour that you notice, and put them down to something else, such as work being particularly stressful, or ‘time of the month’,” says Carr.
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“Yet potentially they could indicate that your partner feels as though their life is spiralling out of control as they sink into depression.”
She points out that changes in behaviour can be very subtle: “You may question whether or not there is anything actually wrong – especially if you have been together for some time. If you are in a new relationship, you may think that any unusual behaviour is an idiosyncrasy, and just part of that person’s personality."
Look out if these symptoms last more than a few weeks, suggests Carr
10 Potential Signs Of Depression
A Change In Mood(01 of10)
Open Image Modal Is your partner unusually gloomy or sad? Do they put a negative spin on everything? Perhaps they have frequent angry outbursts - and these are aimed at you? (credit:Alamy)
Energy Levels (02 of10)
Open Image ModalFor some, depression manifests as a massive loss of energy. If your partner is too tired and lethargic to do anything for a long period of time, consider whether something more serious is going on. (credit:Alamy)
Loss Of interest(03 of10)
Open Image ModalYou might notice your partner cuts down on their activities, and loses interest in things they used to enjoy. In general, there's a sense of withdrawal. (credit:Alamy)
Getting Things Done(04 of10)
Open Image ModalYou could find that your partner becomes overwhelmed by tasks and so avoids doing them. Even simple things such as putting the dirty dishes in the sink, can seem like a vast, vague 'problem'. (credit:Alamy)
Overdoing Things (05 of10)
Open Image ModalSometimes as a person becomes depressed, they develop 'coping mechanisms', such as drinking more alcohol, using drugs, excess shopping, gambling, eating to excess, using pornography, or working extremely long hours - all ways to avoid dealing with negative feelings. (credit:Alamy)
Sex(06 of10)
Open Image ModalYour partner's sex drive may well be affected by depression, either by removing it or increasing their desire (credit:Alamy)
Anxiety(07 of10)
Open Image ModalIt's likely that your partner may also develop stronger feelings of anxiety. For example, he or she may get really agitated about where the neighbours park their car. Or begin to dread doing something wrong, or doing work that's not good enough. (credit:Alamy)
Mornings(08 of10)
Open Image ModalFirst thing in the morning can be a really tough time for someone who's depressed, and it can take ages to get going. Many people say that as the day wears on they feel better. (credit:Alamy)
Communication(09 of10)
Open Image ModalYou may start to feel you're treading on eggshells, as it becomes more easy to trigger a negative reaction. And if they are angry, they may hurl unfair accusations at you. (credit:Alamy)
Your Own Feelings(10 of10)
Open Image ModalYou may begin to feel, hurt, rejected, isolated and guilty within your relationship - and perhaps embarrassed by their behaviour when in public. Take these feelings seriously, as they are an indicator something is wrong. (credit:Alamy)