What It Means To Be A Man In 2015: Bloggers Share Their Thoughts On Masculinity

What It Means To Be A Man In 2015
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Masculinity has seen a huge shift over the past 50 years.

Fathers are now staying at home to look after their kids and male feminists are coming out of the closet - helped by Emma Watson's fantastic HeForShe speech, no doubt.

Meanwhile a light has been shone on body image and mental health issues, which have now become more male-focused than ever before.

But what does it actually mean to be a guy in 2015?

Male bloggers discuss their perceptions of masculinity in day-to-day life.

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The past 20 years have seen a huge shift in parenting - particularly what it means to be a father.

However there are still some narks for modern fathers, one of which is being referred to as a babysitter for looking after their own children.

Al Ferguson blogs: "DADS DON'T BABYSIT! It is impossible to babysit your own kids. Actually impossible.

"When a mum is out with her kids, no-one in their right mind would suggest that she is babysitting. Yet throw it round to dads and all we ever do is apparently 'babysit.' Since when did looking after your own kids become babysitting?"

There's also the matter of being a stay-at-home dad.

"My main job is managing the house and looking after the kids. That makes me a "house husband" - which I'd call myself if it weren't for the fact that saying that word out loud mysteriously shrinks my gonads to the size and firmness of month-old blueberries," Christopher Noxon blogs on The Huffington Post.

"Male householders are often gripped by a potent mix of shame, pride, isolation, frustration, delight and ambivalence."

He continues: "I'm a pretty good dad - at least I try to be. I for one feel deeply blessed to have that role with my kids and wife, to be available to my kids in a way I hope will create deep and lasting bonds, and to do the things that need doing so my wife can lead the professional life she does.

"That's a huge privilege. The fact that the culture sidelines anyone doing that work - man or woman - must change for the sake of all our well-being.

"Men can be natural caretakers and the world has got to stop assuming that we're all threatened and emasculated."

"Not all boys are cut out to be the personification of masculinity," Richard Lyon blogs.

"I was a kid who started life as an identified sissy and grew up to be a gay man who still hates sports and likes to cook. By and large, it is the kids who look and/or act different who are most likely to be targets of bullying."

"There has been a long-overdue effort to focus attention on the problems faced by school-aged children who are perceived as being sexually different," he writes. "However, for all the "It Gets Better" videos, the problems faced by such people don't end once they get out of school.

"Within the adult gay subculture there is a pervasive emphasis on what strikes me as a cult of masculinity. It appears to be, among other things, an overreaction to historical stereotypes."

He does, however, add: "Most members of the general public are aware that gay men are not uniformly effeminate. It's pretty well established that we come in different shapes and sizes and behave in diverse ways."

"As men, we must call our brothers into an understanding of what we gain from reimagining and reconstructing masculinity in our lives and our relationships."

"There is much good that comes with how I’ve been socialised to be a man – brotherhood, strength, courage, and tenacity – which is why I don’t simply believe the answer, at least initially, is to abandon gender altogether," he writes.

"Instead, I want to see a masculinity where love, power with, and compassion replace dominance, power over, and violence, a masculinity where some of those good messages I learned from the men in my life endure while leaving behind the destructive things that hurt me and so many other male-identified people."

"Most men I know are good guys," writes HuffPost UK's editor-in-chief Stephen Hull writes.

"They are loving sons, brothers, fathers and husbands. They respect women and men alike and try to live life in such a way that doesn't upset, offend or intimidate others."

Hull's comments were published in a blog reflecting on Jeremy Corbyn's suggestion (and consideration) of women-only train carriages.

Corbyn said he would consider introducing women-only carriages on public transport to help reduce harassment - however for Hull, tarring all men with the same brush is not the right way to deal with the issue.

He continues: "We should be educating people and letting them know this type of anti-social behaviour is unacceptable and will not tolerated by women or men. We should be teaching respect, inclusivity and tolerance, not segregation.

"And if all else fails, let's just have an arseholes-only carriage which decent men and women can both avoid at all costs."

"It may be time for you to accept that the old, archetypal view that as a man you need to be 'a good ol' city boy' or 'just one of the lads' may not be who you are anymore," he explains. "Maybe the kind of man who finds himself getting involved in banter to within an inch of his life or living to excess only to impress people is not the kind of person you want to be.

"Sure the persona you're getting tired of now may have served you well throughout your time at university or while you were backpacking round Australia. But many clients I talk to who are desperately holding onto old roles realise that one plus one doesn't equal two anymore."

He continues: "It's an act. It's a role that you have been playing and you know what? You play it automatically. And in playing these roles, you are actually sacrificing your happiness and hiding who you really are in an attempt to get validation from the outside world.

"It's time to stop acting. It's time to stop role-playing."

In a blog post on Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), Conor Penn writes that he believes the condition doesn't discriminate when it comes down to gender.

"Yet, according to statistics from the National Institute of Clinical Excellence (NICE), women account for the overwhelming majority of body image and eating disorder diagnoses in the UK," he explains. "I don't believe that these statistics reflect reality. So we must therefore ask why men are statistically more unlikely to present themselves to their GP with body image distress.

"The answer, of course, is excruciatingly complex, but there is no doubt that societal expectations of masculinity play an enormous part in the reticence of men to speak up, seek help, or even recognise that they might have a problem with body image."

He adds: "Contemporary notions of what it means to 'be a man', emotional resilience and a total detachment from 'superficial' or 'feminine' concerns such as looks and appearance, for instance, are utterly and disastrously toxic.

"Men are trained to be instinctively hesitant to express any emotion or enact any behaviour understood to be antithetical to their masculinity, which in turn is perceived as the defining feature of both their worth and their identity. (Men even have to buy 'man-size' tissues - presumably for big manly tears, reserved only for when you dislocate your pelvis playing rugby or for when Marco Pierre White is chopping onions)."

"So what do unrealistic expectations of 'masculinity' mean for male mental health?" he asks.

"It means that men are much less likely to seek help for psychological symptoms which are causing distress. It means that men are statistically much, much more likely to commit suicide, and it means that we, as a society, are training a generation of young men to police their behaviours and actions, much as I had to do in my own adolescence, which leads them to police their physicality, too."

Male Body Image Heroes
James Corden(01 of07)
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He stripped off in an underwear advert spoof alongside David Beckham. The message: "Beauty is skin deep, it's underneath that counts."He also wrote an open letter which was published by Glamour magazine in which he asks people to accept themselves for who they are. "Respect your body. It is what it is, so embrace it," he wrote. "Love every scar, ripple, and imperfection, and you won’t need others to do it for you." (credit:FOX via Getty Images)
David Beckham(02 of07)
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Davey B stars alongside James Corden in the underwear spoof for D&J briefs to promote healthy body image and the idea that beauty is only skin deep. (credit:J. Countess via Getty Images)
Prince Fielder(03 of07)
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Fielder is a baseball player for the Texas Rangers who was featured on the front page of ESPN magazine, naked. The photograph of him was attacked on social media. The baseball player has since spoken out and said that just because a person is plus-size, it doesn't mean they can't be athletic.In an interview with ESPN.com, he said: “A lot of people probably think I’m not athletic or don’t even try to work out or whatever, but I do. Just because you’re big doesn’t mean you can’t be an athlete. And just because you work out doesn’t mean you’re going to have a 12-pack. I work out to make sure I can do my job to the best of my ability. Other than that, I’m not going up there trying to be a fitness model.” (credit:Ronald Martinez via Getty Images)
Matt McGorry(04 of07)
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The Orange Is The New Black star spoke openly about his body concerns during his first shirtless scene on OITNB. He told Yahoo: "I was obsessively dieting, and when I saw that scene before the show ever came out, I thought I had blown it. I was like, 'Oh no! I didn't get as lean as I could've'. But then the show came out, and no one said anything negative about it, and it's funny because from one perspective you could say, 'Oh, he's letting himself go,' but from another perspective, I just don't need that validation I once did."I still love working out, and I think it's good for my health, and I feel good doing it. But I think with mental health, allowing myself to be who I am naturally in terms of my body, I think that's sort of practicing more self-love that way." (credit:Jennifer Lourie via Getty Images)
Gok Wan(05 of07)
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The presenter is an advocate for body confidence in both men and women. He has been incredibly open about his struggles with obesity growing up. He presented a show called Gok's Teens: The Naked Truth, which looked at body image in young people. He also launched a campaign to get body image classes taught in schools across the country. (credit:Dave M. Benett via Getty Images)
Ben Cohen(06 of07)
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The former rugby player has spoken openly about the importance of standing up to bullies. He launched the Ben Cohen Stand Up foundation to raise awareness of the long-term, damaging effects of bullying and to raise funds to support those doing real-world work to stop it.Earlier this year, Cohen was fat-shamed by the Mail Online. "It is time we stand up for what is right and support people who are being harmed. Every person on this planet has a right to be true to themselves, to love and be loved, and to be happy," he said. (credit:Jason Kempin via Getty Images)
Robert Pattinson(07 of07)
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The Twilight actor has been open about his struggles with Body Dysmorphia (BDD), an obsessive anxiety disorder which is characterised by the individual's preoccupation with flaws in his or her appearance which are unnoticeable to others.In the process, he's helped raise awareness of the disorder among men. (credit:Jason Kempin via Getty Images)

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HuffPost UK is partnering with Southbank Centre’s Being A Man Festival, taking place 27 - 29 November. It will focus on lighthearted, serious and challenging issues facing boys and men in the 21st century. There will be talks and debates, concerts, performances, comedy and workshops with contributions from over 200 speakers and performers, including Akala, Frankie Boyle, David Baddiel and Kellie Maloney. Day passes are £15, 3-day passes are £35. For more information, visit the website or call 0844 847 9944.