A woman has revealed her secret to orgasmic bliss on Reddit. And the internet is pretty damn happy about it.
Reddit user 'adeepermystery' shared her revelations on how to achieve a better orgasm, which she found out quite by accident.
She explained that usually, she would tense her muscles when trying to come and hold her breath. But this, she revealed, is all wrong.
In fact, she believes the secret to orgasmic bliss is simply to relax the muscles downstairs and let the good times roll on.
She wrote: "Last night, I had just taken a Flexeril for a muscle spasm in my neck when I decided to take a little self-love time. I couldn't tense my muscles as tight, and coming while they were relaxed felt incredible!
"I thought the whole point was to clench everything, then feel the release... But this was like wave after wave of beautiful feelings. I probably came five times, each more amazing than the last."
She added that it was important for her to share this knowledge on the internet because women "don't discuss what feels good sexually".
"No friend or female family member had ever said, 'Oh, you tense up? Yeah, try relaxing instead'," she explained.
"And I'm too embarrassed to spread my newfound knowledge to my friends, but I'll disseminate the info to Reddit instead."
Since imparting her words of wisdom, others have flocked to share their top masturbation tips, too.
*Takes notes*
SEE ALSO:
This Is The Best Way To Stimulate The G-Spot
9 Ways To Always Reach An Orgasm
Be Consistent With Your O's(01 of24)
This is key for both men and women, sex therapist Vanessa Marin says. If you know something works for you every time, there’s nothing wrong with returning to it again and again. “If something feels good and you're ready to have your orgasm, keep doing the same thing,” she says. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it!" (credit:Getty Images)
Don't Make Things Complicated (02 of24)
"A lot of people try to get too fancy and complicated during sex by changing positions, pace, or angles,” Marin says. Of course, while It’s fun to experiment, don’t put too much pressure on yourself or your partner to mix it up. Marin says reaching an orgasm this way can become a chore, and that’s no way to end up satisfied. (credit:Yuri Arcurs)
One Size Does Not Fit All...(03 of24)
...or one position, or one toy. If you focus too much on articles that promise that a certain position will work every time, or a particular gadget that guarantees orgasms, you may just be putting yourself in an orgasm-less situation. We are all built differently and find different things exciting, which means you need to figure out what works for you and your partner. (credit:shutterstock)
Grab The Reins(04 of24)
Both men and women benefit from being in a position of controlling the action leading up to orgasm, Marin says. "It's usually easiest to reach orgasm if you can dictate the stimulation. For that reason, I encourage couples to take turns reaching orgasm." (credit:Shutterstock / sam100)
Go Beyond Intercourse (05 of24)
Evidence shows that only about a quarter of women consistently orgasm through vaginal intercourse, for example. If you or your partner are part of the other 75 per cent, that's no indication of the quality of your relationship or sex life. Remember, it's not penetration or nothing, because orgasms reached through other means feel pretty great too. Just focus on what works for you and your partner and enjoy the orgasms you are having instead of worrying about the ones you aren't. (credit:Dean Mitchell)
Masturbate To Find Out What Turns You On(06 of24)
If you’re just not sure what gets you to orgasm, it’s time to take matters into your own hands... literally. Spend some time figuring out just how you like to be touched by touching yourself. Pay attention to how you feel as you get close, and to what takes you further away or out of the moment altogether. Then you can take that knowledge into the bedroom with your partner. Don't be afraid to give directions and make suggestions! (credit:shutterstock)
Give Up On Simultaneous Orgasms(07 of24)
Reaching orgasm at the same time sounds hot, but it’s actually pretty rare, Marin says. “Trying to have one usually spoils the mood — couples start focusing more on timing than on the actual enjoyment of sex,” she explains. "One person is always trying to hurry up, while the other is trying to slow down!” Allowing yourselves to take turns lets you both be in the moment and really enjoy it, without the pressure of trying to get the timing right (credit:Shutterstock / Yuri Arcurs)
Bring In The Back-Ups (08 of24)
There's nothing wrong with getting a little help in reaching an orgasm, especially with a sex toy. It's a great way to hit two spots at once, for example: your G-spot and clitoris, or penis and testicles. Pick up a couple of inexpensive toys and play around to see what works for you, either solo or with your partner. (Or both!) (credit:IPGGutenbergUKLtd)
Don't Worry If You Can't Orgasm (09 of24)
This may seem counter-intuitive, but putting so much focus on orgasms can make it hard to enjoy all the other parts of sex that also feel pretty great. "Orgasm has gotten a lot more attention in the media in recent years, and many people have become overly goal-oriented about reaching orgasm,” Marin says. "I'll often hear my clients describe sex that feels disconnected and mechanical, because both parties are up in their heads stressing out about orgasming.” That doesn't sound enjoyable, orgasm or not. Marin advises some of her clients to just take orgasms off the table for a period of time. She says the result is often a re-connection with all the great parts of sex, a few new ideas on mixing things up, and a greater appreciation for orgasms when they do return. (credit:Simon Watson via Getty Images)
(10 of24)
Women Climax Prematurely, Too(11 of24)
You hear a lot of about premature ejaculation — the tendency for a man to ejaculate with little sexual stimulation, usually just after sex begins (or even prior to getting started). Doctors estimate that about 20 to 30 percent of men will prematurely ejaculate at some point in their lives.But it’s not just guys who peak too soon. A recent survey of Portuguese women between the ages of 18 and 45 found that about 40 percent of participants occasionally orgasm before they intend to — and about 3 percent of them do so chronically.While premature orgasm is certainly a problem for some females (and they should feel comfortable speaking about it with their doctors, says study researcher Serafim Carvalho, MD), a much more widespread issue for women is the inability to reach orgasm. (credit:Shutterstock)
Not All Orgasms Are Earth Shattering(12 of24)
If you think you’re doing something wrong because each and every one of your orgasms isn’t scream-worthy , think again.“Some orgasms are sweet and gentle, some are big — but in fact, they are all pleasurable,” says Betty Dodson, PhD, a sex educator in private practice in New York City and the best-selling author of Sex for One and Orgasms for Two. But if you feel like your climaxes aren’t up to par, Dodson advocates scheduling some “alone time” to learn about what arouses you, as well as your range of orgasmic responses (then you can share this information with your partner!). (credit:Shutterstock)
Are High Heels Orgasmic?(13 of24)
Shoe designer Christian Louboutin made quite a splash when he told British newspaper The Sunday Times that high heels and orgasms have a lot in common. “What is sexual in a high heel is the arch of the foot, because it is exactly the position of a woman's foot when she orgasms,” he said. “So putting your foot in a heel, you are putting yourself in a possibly orgasmic situation.”Is that true? We’re not so sure. But we do know that those oh-so sexy stilettos can bring on a whole lot of pain — and according to the American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons (AAOS), they are more likely to cause bunions. (credit:Shutterstock)
Want To Orgasm? Get Your Head In The Game(14 of24)
Your sky-high electric bill, that big meeting at work, last night’s episode of "The Kardashians" — are you constantly thinking about everything but sex when you’re having sex?Join the club — research reported in the journal Sexologies points out that many women have difficulty reaching orgasm because of their wandering, distracting thoughts mid-romp. And oftentimes, those thoughts are negative, according to the study’s 191 participants (troubling thoughts included sexual dysfunction, body image issues, even sexual abuse).If your mind keeps wandering during sex, you may want to make a conscious effort to keep your mind on the prize. (credit:Shutterstock)
Guys Have G-Spots, Too(15 of24)
For women, the G-spot is a hard-to-find (or some say mythical) place inside the vagina that can set off earth-shattering orgasms. But do men have similar orgasmic potential?According to Dr. Niederberger, the anatomical equivalent on the male is the frenulum, a collection of highly sensitized nerves just under the head of the penis. Whether G-spots really exist is still up for debate, but Niederberger says it’s important to remember that both men and women can have toe-curlingly-satisfying sex lives without one. (credit:Shutterstock)
Fast And Stealthy Wins The Race(16 of24)
Not all sperm are created equal. In fact, take any given sample sperm that get released during the male orgasm, and you’ll find some that are dead or immobile and others that are relatively speedy (they get even speedier in response to chemical signals from a woman’s vagina and egg).“Sperm should move at 30 micrometers per second or more,” says urologist Craig Niederberger, MD, FACS, head of the department of urology at the University of Illinois in Chicago. Also, they should generally move forward, rather than simply bouncing around in one spot. (credit:Shutterstock)
The Hands-Free Orgasm Is Real(17 of24)
“A few folks can literally ‘think’ off,” says Dodson. (Supposedly, that list includes Lady Gaga — as she once told New York Magazine “You know, sense memory is a powerful thing. I can give myself an orgasm just by thinking about it.”)Don’t think you can reach climax by harnessing your dirty thoughts? You can certainly enjoy making an attempt of it, says Dodson. And the visualization that could get you there might spice up your sex life, no matter what the outcome. Even if your thoughts alone aren’t orgasmic, thinking about — and talking about — sex makes for sexier foreplay. (credit:Shutterstock)
You Can ‘Yogasm’(18 of24)
A recent revelation about yoga is bringing all new meaning to the phrase “downward facing dog.” Some yoga fanatics are claiming that, mid-yoga-session, they have been known to experience a “yogasm” — an orgasm set off without any sort of stimulation or touching involved.Though the concept has been around for a while, more and more yogis have been speaking out it about, bringing yoga-induced orgasms a whole lot of attention. Are they real? Absolutely, sexologist Jeffre TallTrees recently told The Daily Beast. “When women engage their PC [pubococcygeus] muscles, the tissue around the g-spot swells, which can lead to climax.” (credit:Shutterstock)
You Can ‘Coregasm,’ Too(19 of24)
Turns out, flat abs aren't the only thing you can achieve by hitting the gym. According to Men's Health, that extra set of crunches may also help women reach mind-blowing orgasms.This phenomenon — known as the "coregasm" — sometimes occurs when women perform certain abdominal exercises, such as side crunches and single leg planks. These workouts cause tension in the legs and abdomen, and when combined with dopamine and endorphins released during exercise, experts say this can be all the stimulation that's needed. In addition, since these movements hit the inner thighs, women with strong abdominal muscles may inadvertently squeeze the pelvic muscles in the process.One motion won't do the trick, but repeatedly contracting the muscles during ab training might. But fitness experts warn that you should never sacrifice good form in the pursuit of the big O during your workout. (credit:Shutterstock)
Orgasms Can Relieve Pain(20 of24)
Should you ditch the painkillers for a romp in the hay or solo-style sex? “I recommend women masturbate to orgasm to relieve their monthly cramps,” says Dodson.There are several possible reasons climaxing kills pain. The chemical and muscular cascade involved in having an orgasm may be a pain reliever, she says — and chances are that distraction and profound relaxation also help. In any case, it can’t hurt to try. (credit:Shutterstock)
Orgasms May Actually Get Better With Age(21 of24)
Whether having an orgasm is qualitatively better at age 40 than age 20 is hard to say. However, chances are, you know your body better and are more comfortable with sex and your partner when you get older. “A young body may respond better to orgasm, but an aging body might have more appreciation for an orgasm,” says Dodson. Take the time to learn about your changing orgasmic style. (credit:Shutterstock)
Most Guys Are Seven-Minute Men(22 of24)
For many people, the length of time it takes to reach orgasm varies and depends on a number of different factors, including arousal, stress levels, tiredness, and relationship dynamics.However, researchers have established that, for men, “from penetration to ejaculation, the average time is seven minutes,” says Niederberger. The timeframe for women is considerably more variable — in fact, women’s orgasms overall are less predictable: Some females may never achieve climax with vaginal intercourse, and some claim to have multiple orgasms. (credit:Shutterstock)
Turns Out, The Female Orgasm Is Important(23 of24)
Your ninth-grade biology teacher probably told you this: For reproduction purposes, only the male orgasm is necessary.While he certainly has a point (male ejaculation, which accompanies orgasm, helps improve the chances of the sperm making their way toward the woman’s egg), Indiana University professor Elizabeth Lloyd has been studying the purpose of female climax for some time. Here’s what she found: The female orgasm promotes “pair bonding,” which means a couple is more likely to pursue parenting; it’s a part of mate selection (a woman chooses her partner based on his ability to make her climax); and there is some belief that contractions during the female orgasm help draw sperm into the uterus.So go ahead — have an orgasm tonight, for science’s sake. (credit:Shutterstock)
The Truth About Multiple Orgasms(24 of24)
Do some women orgasm, only to orgasm again (and then yet again)?While it is certainly possible for individuals to have more than one orgasm in a sexual interlude, Dodson says to proceed with caution. “My concern with so-called ‘multiple orgasms’ is that I believe many women are actually counting the naturally occurring autonomic reflexes that can follow an orgasm,” she says. Of course, these “aftershocks” can still be quite pleasurable. (credit:Shutterstock)