08/11/2013 06:16 GMT | Updated 23/01/2014 18:58 GMT

Is There A Purpose?

I'm sitting outside writing. In fact, I almost always write outside. I was trying to find inspiration for something to write about, and being out in the fresh air seems to get my creative juices flowing.

I ate an ice-block, and I placed the wrapper down next to me. The wind has picked up this afternoon and it wasn't long before the wind carried the wrapper to the end of the garden. I started to think about how in life things are like that sometimes. How we sometimes get swept away in the moment.

I also noticed ants crawling on me. Also taking note that if we sit still long enough, things will come to us.

I was laying on my back on the grass on a towel and my inspiration kicked in. I flipped over onto my stomach to begin to write about my usual bullshit. Finding the hidden meaning in all of life's mysteries.

As I turned myself over, two bindi's pricked my toe.

"Fuck me!" I said out loud. The poor neighbours children that have to listen to my profanities.

I think it would hurt less to have broken a limb. I don't know how a little prick can be so painful. There's a message in that too if you wish.

And so I thought to myself, "what is the purpose of a bindi anyway?".

So that is what this article is about. Things that have no purpose. Or at least none that I know of.

So here goes:

Bindi's - I mean, really?

Dragonflies - honestly, why do they exist?

Bugs of all kinds - why does there need to be bugs?

Spiders - the spiders only exist to eat the bugs. If there were no bugs, there would be no need for spiders. Problem solved.

Lizards - the lizards only exist (most of them) to eat ants and spiders. Again, no bugs, no spiders - no need for lizards.

Vaseline - it's a crap lipgloss, and an even worse lubricant.

Kitten heels - enough said.

Sausages - I hate sausages. Who would honestly want to eat what my Dad refers to as "lips and assholes" encased in an intestine?

Gelatine - I also hate gelatine. I hate jelly. I hate anything that even remotely has the same consistency as jelly. It's vile. And did you know it's made up of ground pigs bones and cartilage? Yes.

Cancer - I don't need to explain this one.

Bed bugs - I got bitten by bed bugs once at a resort in Miami, Florida. Horrific. And a tip for travellers? Never put your luggage on a hotel bed. Never.

Papaya - is it just me, or does this exotic fruit taste like vomit?

I'm sure there are many more things that don't serve a purpose, but that's all that's popping into my mind for the moment.

But there's always some searching for answers in everything with me.

I guess everything does serve some type of purpose, otherwise it wouldn't exist. And maybe in life, to discover our own purpose, we need to just be still, let the winds of change and destiny take us wherever they so choose, let whatever is meant to come, come, and remove any pricks as they arise.

You're welcome.