27/04/2015 07:27 BST | Updated 25/06/2015 06:59 BST

Sturgeon Is Cleaning the Political U-Bend to Give Boris and the Other Miliband a Clean Run

Every now and then you have to put on the rubber gloves and unblock the u-bend.

Bits and pieces of wasted product gather over time and cause a nasty smelly blockage.

Such is UK politics today.

Some nine months after the Scots very nearly claimed independence from Britain, they have given birth to the powerfully clear rhetoric of Nicola Sturgeon and she is flushing out the electoral crap like a dose of salts. The SNP will jump from being ardent separatists to being the dominant influence in English politics. "Riddle me that, Joker", as Batman used to say.

That alone is a measure of the "chaos" (the persistent word of this election) that defines UK politics today.

We have a Prime Minister who, next time round, doesn't want to be Prime Minister. Leaders driven by conviction never quit, Mr Cameron. Where's your long-term conviction? You sound like a small-cap CEO coming in to do a turnaround, grab some reward and run. Your future resignation has created a party with a weakened muscle and now you are unable to gather the votes you need to create anything. No, being PM is not a "job", it's a long-term leadership position. The polls will tell you when it's time to leave.

We have an Opposition Leader who is also not convincing enough to summon up a majority and is forced to fall in love with parties he keeps dissing. Miliband is adopting the dropped consonant "Thames Estuary" English of Tony Blair in an attempt to reach out to the masses. But it's not "how you say it" that counts, it's "what you say" and what he's saying

Clegg is saying he wants to "serve" again. To do what Nick? Be servile?

Farage has lost his laser sharp Euro argument by pretending he can be a proper political party instead of the receptacle of eurosceptic waifs and strays that he actually leads. As a single issue pressure group he was powerful in that he could raise questions and influence from the sidelines. A political party he ain't.

The Greens are incomprehensible.

Every major party is promising the "bread and circuses" that we can't afford. i.e. everyone is promising to push us into more debt. Have any of the political leaders actually read what the OECD has said about the UK recently?

According to the OECD, after five years of 'austerity' the UK's budget deficit is 5.3%, down from 11.2% in 2009. Let me contextualise this. We've shifted from near-Total Destruction of the Economy to Absolutely Rock-Bottom Appalling.

The current government is spending more than it earns. The Election Promises are claims such us "let's give the NHS whatever it takes". This Government has been borrowing money not saving money and the debt-to-GDP has risen from 68.95% in 2009 to 93.30% in 2013, again according to OECD figures.

93.30%. Blimey.

The scrappy unclear manifestos all say the same thing. "Please put us into government, the others are all beastly and horrid. Pretty please"?

The brutal fact is that the lack of a cohesive forceful party will send us again into coalition. But we can't vote into power a coalition party at the ballot box (and even if we could, which combination would we vote for - they say they don't like each other).

So by definition, our next government will be one that not a single person in this country voted for.

But, at the same time it's all wonderful stuff. A turnaround moment.

This is the election we needed to have. British politics works best when led by conviction. Since the conviction is coming from where we least expected it and where it is least useful - the SNP - we are left with five years of muddied thinking, congealing policies and the inevitable cleaning out of politicians stuck in outmoded political dogma.

I forecast that, except for Ms Sturgeon, there will not be a single one of our political leaders today standing to fight the 2020 election. They will resign, be fired, or be relegated to the sidelines.

The 2020 vision will be provided by Big Thinkers who can provide far-sighted vision and the conviction to carry it through.

At the moment this looks increasingly like Boris Johnson and David Miliband. Played properly they will bring the country back into focus with a two party option and a mighty application of fresh thinking.

We are only looking like a country forced into muddied and muddled coalitions because none of our leaders is good enough for us to vote for them. And the one-that is can't, in any circumstance, win other than in coalition.

Sturgeon is cleaning the u-bend. It should be whistle-clean by the time Boris and Dave step up.