THE BLOG
20/03/2015 09:20 GMT | Updated 19/05/2015 06:59 BST

Five Pity Party Invites You Should Refuse

We all have pity parties from time to time but some of us stay way too long in them, letting every obstacle hold us back, feeing even sorrier for ourselves as time goes on. As a result, we don't move forward the way we would like in our businesses.

My definition of a pity party is when something does not go the way you plan, or you get a knock back and you then feel upset about it and start feeling sorry for yourself. Whilst it is ok to momentarily grieve about it, the danger is when you stay there too long. If you find that you are constantly having pity parties, it can chip away at your self belief and you start believing that you are not good enough.

Here are 5 examples of situations where you may find yourself having a pity party and what you need to do to make your exit from it.

1. No one will buy from me

When you are starting out in business and it feels like doors are constantly being slammed in your face and no one is buying, it is very disheartening. But there are a number of reasons why someone may not buy from you, so rather than taking it personally, ask yourself why this is and whether you are targeting the right person.

You wouldn't go to the butchers for a pound of beef and expect them to try to sell you a loaf of bread. Likewise, if you are selling something to someone that has no need for your service or is unable to afford your service, you are barking up the wrong tree.

If you have done your market research properly, you will know whether there is a demand for your service so re evaluate who your ideal client is and whether your offer is attractive to them. And look at whether you are actually targeting your ideal client in the right way.

2. Procrastination has become the norm

Whilst a little procrastination may be harmless from time to time, when you find that you constantly put off the tasks that you find difficult or the ones that you don't enjoy, it is time for a re think and a review of how you are going about things.

If something is too overwhelming, break it down into manageable chunks, focusing on one chunk at a time. If you are unsure how to go about doing something, get help. Outsource the areas that you are not strong in. What is your weakness is another person's strength.

Don't wallow in self pity and start procrastinating because you don't know where to start or because the enormity of what you need to do seems overwhelming.

3. I'll never make it

Keep telling yourself that you will never make it and the chances are you never will. It can take up to 3 to 5 years for a business to start making a profit and if you are still in the early stages but are not generating the kind of income you would like to see, remember that Rome was not built in a day. Keep moving forward, taking action towards your goal, tweaking things along the way if necessary.

If a lack of money is an issue, look at how you can generate other forms of income whilst the business takes off, such as renting out a spare room, getting a part time job or doing private tutoring.

4. I'm not as good as...

Don't believe all you see on social media because all that glitters is not gold. When things aren't going too good for you, the constant posts and images portraying peoples' successes that you see on social media can leave you feeling inadequate.

You start to believe that you will never be as good as them and start feeling insecure about yourself. We often only see the good things on social media, you rarely see posts about people struggling to make their businesses work or how much of a slog it really is.

If constantly seeing these posts and messages bothers you, don't look at them. Either switch off their notifications or don't go on social media when you are feeling vulnerable. Besides, you don't know the other person's journey and what challenges they have had to go through to get to where they are.

5. I haven't got everything in place

If you are waiting for everything to be perfect, you may be waiting a very long time. One of the best pieces of advice I was given when starting out with my business was just to get on and do it. Don't wait for everything to be perfect when good is good enough.

So like the advice that I received, my advice to you is to just get on and do it.

The longer you stay in a pity party, the harder it is to get out of it. Start to recognise the warning signs and the triggers that you are heading for one and do something about it. Whilst it is ok to grieve for what might have been or to be upset if something doesn't work out how you planned, it is not good to dwell there.