THE BLOG
17/07/2015 11:32 BST | Updated 17/07/2016 06:59 BST

We Made a Mother F#$king Movie...

2015-07-17-1437127133-5207688-GoodByeBoobsYouTubeThumb.jpg

Life is a funny old thing isn't it? When I first found out I carried the BRCA 1 gene I wasn't sure what it meant for my future. The 1st time I attended the genetics clinic at guys hospital I found out all about double mastectomies. I looked at pictures, was told what would happen and I'll never forget the surgeon saying that I should take my time to make my mind up and when I did they would be there. The wonderful breast care nurse gave me her card. I kept that card in my purse for years. I'd just look at it and remind myself 'when I was ready'. I felt reassured in the knowing I had that choice. I guess i knew what I was going to do it was just matter of timing and being ready.

I remember wanting to find someone like me. Some one who was in my situation. I wanted to know if we thought the same things, if we felt the same way. Did other people worry about what I worried about? Where they more confident in their decision making? Would my confidence be dented forever? Would I still feel confident and sexy? I want to hear someone say 'I've been there done that, I survived and I'm happy'. I couldn't find anyone.

Then Angelia came out and said she'd had the operation. I was so happy to hear that. This beautiful and super successful woman had gone ahead with it and here she was looking amazing and confident. I'm so grateful she did that. However to me Angelina was untouchable. Not like me. Not normal. How did normal people cope?

By the time decided to go ahead with my operation I had lost my sister, which had spurred me on to change my life, to be happy, to change my life. I knew I had to go ahead and I had totally come to terms with what that meant. Not only that I had started to feel really confident about it. I had started to feel so grateful. I had started to see just how lucky I was to be armed with this knowledge and to be able to do something about it.

I decided I wanted to do the whole thing publicly, my career gave me platforms and I had a message. I wanted to make sure that if someone else in my situation was looking for an example they could see my journey and know it's all going to be ok. Doing articles and a Radio Documentary for Radio 1 and 1xtra meant so many people reached out. Men and women of all ages who had been affect by breast cancer in some way. It was truly touching.

I didn't stop at a Radio documentary. I wanted to film my process. When I 1st made the decision I tried to find someone to film it and a broadcaster to pay for it but it didn't get very far and time was running out. I reached out to someone i knew with a production company and asked him to film it. He did. I also filmed bits on my camera. He filmed everything from my Goodbye Boobs party to the drive to the hospital on the morning of my surgery. We made what I think and have reaffirmed by so many other people is an amazingly informative and inspiring filming. Shot beautifully. Here is the trailer

https://youtu.be/ETJ40k8i4m8

When can you see the whole film? I'm not sure. We have been to every major broadcasters in the UK and some of the smaller ones and no one wants to put the film out. There have been a lot of 'It's too female and too young for our audience' and 'We love the film but we just don't have a home for it' type comments. Which is disappointing because I believe this is a story that should be told. I cried a lot. I know how much work has gone into this documentary and I know it would help a lot of people. I'm not one to give up though...........

...............Here is where you come in Please Tweet, Facebook, Instagram, blog and tell all your friends about the taster and about this film. Please use the hashtag #GoodByeBoobs. I truly hope if we can prove them wrong, that this is something people want and need to see then they will have to listen and support a film that could literally change lives.

Love, peace and support,

Claira Hermet x