20/02/2015 12:22 GMT | Updated 22/04/2015 06:59 BST

Are You Living With a Chatterbox?

There is a small person in my house that is commonly referred to as 'the chatterbox'. From the moment he wakes up until the moment he goes to sleep, he is talking. His mouth never stops moving. Even if he has no one to talk to, he talks to his toys. He even does their voices so they talk back to him! My relatives tell me it's karma. As a child I had the same reputation.

There is a really simple test you can do to determine if you too are living with a chatterbox. Ask the said chatterbox to see how long they can be quiet for. Mine lasted a whole six seconds. And that was the best of three attempts!

Here are the other signs you are living with a chatterbox:

You can't take nice photo's of your child.

It's impossible to take a 'nice' photo of them where they don't end up with some weird facial expression because they can't stop talking long enough for you to take the photo. Being a small person means everything they have to say has the utmost urgency and importance, and asking Mummy if she knows that Lightning McQueen is sponsored by Rusteeze, cannot possibly wait until after she taken the photo.


You never have to drag information out of them about their day.

There are parents out there who complain that their child tells them nothing about school, and "can't remember" or "don't know" are common responses to the question "what did you do today?" Not for the parent of a chatterbox. They are always happy and willing to tell you the ins and outs of their classroom. Who ate all their lunch that day, who didn't. Who got told off by the teacher for picking their nose. Who is this persons best friend, and why that person is no longer best friends with another person. Who won the argument over who is best; Spiderman or Batman (Batman always wins in our house). Who they would like to invite to their birthday and who they wouldn't (Even if it's nine months away!) If only some of the information they relayed was actually useful, such as we have to dress up as animals tomorrow!

You can never have any secrets.

A chatterbox is quite happy to talk to anyone about anything. And by anyone I mean; strangers in the street, the ladies in the supermarket and the neighbour you don't know very well. And by anything I mean; what picture they have on their pants today, that Daddy parped really loud this morning, and that "Mummy said our neighbours are very noisy" (Said of course to the noisy neighbour themselves).

You need to have your wits about you.

When you are in full-blown multi-tasking mode, preparing dinner, washing up, writing a shopping list, singing songs to the baby and picking up the toys the baby throws from their high chair every 10 seconds, the chatterbox does not have your full attention. The moment you lose concentration and switch off when they are chatting away about 'what Batman would do', you're in trouble. Mutter a 'yes' or an 'ok' in the wrong place and before you know it you have just agreed to buy an expensive toy or letting them stay up all night eating sweets.

You have no danger of losing them in a shop.

You can always hear them!

You answer about a gazillion questions a day.

And the internet is your saviour. I don't know about you, but quite frankly I don't have all the answers. Contrary to popular belief in our house, Mummy does not know everything. I have to use google to look up dinosaur names and what the hell a Decepticon is. I'm a girl, I played with dolls and watched Care Bears. I know nothing about transformers.

You appreciate silence in a whole new way.

Only when they are not in the house though. If they are in the house and it is silent, there's trouble ahead. They are likely to be raiding your chocolate stash or drawing on your driver's license. That kind of silence is going to give you a headache.

You sometimes feel like a parrot.

You have to say your child's name approximately 10 times before they stop talking and allow you to get a word in edge-ways. You also use the phrase "take a breath" on an hourly basis.

You have been caught with your ear pressed against their bedroom door.

The cutest and funniest things you hear are when your child thinks no one is listening. It's a good skill to hone ready for their teenage years!

They make you laugh everyday with the things they comes out with.

Sometimes they say something that seems so grown up for their little shoulders. Other times their misunderstanding of the grown up world can be very amusing. Like the time Nana said she had lost her voice and my chatterbox walked round the house calling "Nana's voice, where are you?"

I love living with my little chatterbox and the character that he is. There are however days when I look at his little brother and wonder what life will be like with two chatter boxes.

Will I ever get a word in again?


Karma can bite me!

If you liked this post you might also like Rules for Life (When you are 5 and a boy) or the Leaving the House Dance.