Have you noticed how the internet is always full of people who know exactly what to do? 'Five Easy Ways To Lose Weight', 'Top Tips on Living Happily', 'How to Make Your Blog Stand Out'.
Everyone is posting advice on how to go about doing a thing, but who is actually doing the thing itself? Being an expert online is easy, watch:
Top Five Ways To Name Your Child:
1. Name it after a dead relative.
2. Don't name it after a dead relative.
3. Don't name it until a relative dies.
4. Kill the relative who has the best name.
5. Name it Barry.
See, easy! And now you're in awe of my baby naming expertise.
My generation is mostly unemployed and focused purely on the XBox360, yet we're convinced we're experts! The internet is full of tips and advice-like articles:
- How to get a job.
- How to not get a job.
- What to wear to get yourself a job.
- What job to get so you have something to wear.
- What to wear on your day off.
Why are we so obsessed with telling people how to do everything? Not only that, but we're obsessed with quoting dead famous people. Sure, Gandhi said "Be the change you wish to see in the world", but he also said, "What time does this place close?" and "I have to be up early tomorrow". Years ago, "be the change you wish to see in the world" meant 'if you want the world to be better, embody that spirit yourself', now it just means 'retweet this quote'. Nothing is achieved when you retweet a Gandhi or Churchill quote, they're still dead and you're still sitting on the internet.
Everyone on the web knows how to do everything, yet all of the people I've met in real life are absolutely clueless. I don't know why this is the case, but I will get back to you soon with a blog entitled 'Top Ten Reasons Why People On The Internet Know Everything'.