BGT last week was, arguably, the best first show ever.
We saw so much talent, singers, dancers, comedians and a whole lot more! It was immense; I am so excited to see what show two brings. I even told all my friends to tune in (those few remaining who are not already watching).
Right, lets all shuffle in our seats and get comfortable, let's see Britain show us some more talent... and remember, Britain has the best and to be the best, erm, rehearse....
Act one didn't have it. Act two mmm, don't call us. Act three, sorry what was it again? Forgettable. hope my friends were late tuning in!!
Come on act four. Show me that we have a small glimmer of talent in Britain. Enter AJ and Chloe. Another Kai and Natalia from last year? Not at all. Who said third time lucky? Fourth act on tonight were faultless, energetic, outstanding. Let's hope this opens many dancing doors for them.
Part two started with a little help from our friends, and the gorgeous, sexy, talented, brilliant, awesome, lovely, Sinitta, came along to support her good friend Simon. Editor, did I mention, Sinitta was brilliant.
Sandwich making brothers, Adam and Richard brought their biggest fan, their nan, along to support them at their audition. So were they 'sub'-standard or did we raise a 'toast' ?
Lads, I don't think you will be making sandwiches for much longer. You were absolutely jaw-dropping. Voices of perfection. Another live show certainty.
An unusual dance crew caused a huge male/female judge divide, which resulted in Amanda and Alesha storming off. Girls I can see where you are coming from and I maybe agree with you, but sorry, I know where my loyalties lie, you are on your own, I'm siding with 'My Simon'
Following the battle of the sexes and the dream team re-uniting, we meet the CEO Dancers. A fun, bouncy and well choreographed act. Four yesses, well five including mine. What do you mean I don't count? Simon!!!?
The next montage featured some of Britain's best young talent. Wow, do we have some potential big stars of the future.
Jordan O'Keefe gave us a fantastic acoustic version of One Directions "Little Things". Easy decision Jordan, you are sailing through to the next round.
The act that followed was a load of rubbish. Literally. Why put a bin on your bum. Is that funny? Garbage in my opinion!
The male vocal harmony group that followed were not much better. More practice needed lads. In fact, I would just forget it.
Now we all know that impressionists usually fair badly on BGT. I wasn't really looking forward to the next act. In fact, I was squirming in my seat. Let's hope Francine Lewis changes the trend.
Quite simply, she is one of the best impressionists I have ever seen. Every mimic she did was spot on and what an amazing Cheryl Cole. It was dead canny. Even getting the Geordie approval from my wife who really is one!! She can even understand Ant & Dec without the translations.
Last up was a Mr Zip copycat. Remember, where's me keys, where's me phone from 2012? Yes, I admit MC Boy was fun, but it's a no from me. But he still got through. Madness. Lets see what happens next. Oh joy.
See you next week!