Comparisonitis. Say what?
It's an epidemic that's spreading. I've been suffering from it myself, and I know a lot of the ladies I speak to have too...
You know how it is. You're scrolling through your Facebook feed and see yet another coach who's just hit six-figures in six months. Or someone you know online who's just had their book published and is getting rave reviews. Or someone you thought was at the same stage as you in business has just signed their tenth client, while you're struggling to get your first.
Of course, comparisonitis doesn't just occur in business scenarios - what about those Instagram pics of your impossibly beautiful gal pal rocking her new wardrobe and looking hot to trot in something tight and designer while you sit there in your sweat pants feeling like a hot mess.
Comparisonitis happens to the best of us - it's human nature to compare ourselves to others.
But when it starts to impact your confidence, that's when you know it's a problem that needs to be dealt with head on.
So what's the cure for this problem?
As I mentioned, I've often found myself comparing myself to others. She's done this, why haven't I? She's so much further along with her business, shouldn't I be too? She's making more money than me, why aren't I?
One thing that's really helped me to deal with this is to take a few moments to check myself before I let my thoughts spiral out of control!
So, here are my top tips for curing yourself of comparisonitis:
1. Keep things in perspective
One of the things my coach always used to tell me when I was worried about losing out on a potential sale to someone else was this: there are 7billion people in the world. There are more than enough clients to go around! Seriously, if your biz is online, there are more than 2billion people online - that's a lot of potential clients, so you don't need to worry about there not being enough or 'losing out' to someone else.
2. Other biz owners are not your competition
There may be plenty of other people out there offering the same products or services that you offer. BUT, there is nobody out there offering what you do, in the way that you do it, with all the idiosyncrasies that you have. Seriously, think about it. If you ever find yourself wondering what your USP is, it's you! Nobody can be you. And that's what people will pay money for. So when you think about it in that way, there is no such thing as competition.
3. There are no 'shoulds'
She's doing this, I should be doing this too. Um, nu-uh. There are no 'shoulds' when it comes to what you're doing with your business. It's all about your approach and how you want to do things.
4. Nobody is perfect
Sure, the girl with tens of thousands of social media followers and the multi six-figure business may look like she has the perfect life. But you never know what's going on behind closed doors. Perhaps she's busy comparing herself with the girl with the seven-figure business and feeling like she's not good enough (nice problem to have, but you know what I mean!) Without doubt, all those people who look like they have the perfect lives, will have their own issues to deal with. So don't waste time feeling bad that you're not perfect.
5. Instead of feeling bad, feel inspired
The great thing about seeing other people's successes, is knowing that they're not super-human, they're on the whole, just like you and me. And if they can do it, so can you. How cool is that? In recent months I've been inspired by so many amazing female entrepreneurs doing amazing things that I've often felt compelled to reach out to them and tell them how inspiring they are. This is a far more productive use of time than silently seething that they're doing better than you! I've also often been inspired to take action myself. Seen someone with envy-worthy branding? Why not use it as an opportunity to work on your own branding? Seen someone having massive success after having a book published? Start working on your own book!
Have you suffered from comparisonitis? Got any tips to deal with it? Leave your comments below...
Dina Behrman teaches female entrepreneurs how to make their business famous so they can share their message with more people, become the 'go to' expert, put their prices up and make more sales.