THE BLOG
07/09/2015 13:53 BST | Updated 07/09/2016 06:12 BST

Solo Orgasm: Three Unusual Ways to Enjoy Your Climax

Friday was World Sexual Health Day. A healthy relationship with your own body and sexuality is the basis of a healthy, fulfilling sex life. Masturbation should be celebrated just as much as partnered sex. So, here are three unusual ways to take pleasure in the solo orgasm.

Friday was World Sexual Health Day. A healthy relationship with your own body and sexuality is the basis of a healthy, fulfilling sex life. Masturbation should be celebrated just as much as partnered sex. So, here are three unusual ways to take pleasure in the solo orgasm.

1. Face your O-face: Most of us think we look odd when we climax. You may have caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror in the past, but lots of people tell me they would find it weird to look deliberately at their own face at that moment. But I recommend it. Look yourself in the eye when you climax. You'll meet a version of yourself you haven't met before. Its a version that might surprise you. It will probably amuse you. Hopefully it will delight you.

Orgasm pulls to the surface aspects of yourself that hide below the niceties of your social self. Your social self is the one you present at the office, at parties, or to the clerk at the check-out counter. Meeting your O-self has the potential to increase self-love and self-acceptance. *That* moment reveals the vulnerable, dismissed, shy, or awkward versions of self that often go unacknowledged. Don't try to interpret your O-face. Witnessing it is enough. These versions of yourself only need acknowledgement; so witness them without judgement or interpretation.

2. Get out of your orgasm-habit: Something interesting happens to our subjectivity during sex. The more aroused we become the more we hand over control - and subjectivity - to the body. Our limbs move involuntarily; we give in more and more to their twitching, surging and shaking. During orgasm the body takes over fully. Orgasm is the definition of body-in-charge, or body-as-experiencer. But its also true that we train the body into particular ways of expressing itself. Let's call this 'orgasm habit' - the routine set of sounds and movements that your body performs during climax.

Breaking habitual movements will inject novelty into your experience. You can of course do this during partnered sex but masturbation offers the opportunity to experiment without needing to take your partner's body into consideration. You can let your limbs and vocal chords have free reign. You'll need to let your body know that you are giving it permission it to express in new ways. Here's how to do that. Notice when your body starts to go into its 'orgasm habit' routine. By this point your breath would have become faster and more intense. The simplest way to say to your body 'You can do something different now,' is to slow down your breathing. Your breath is like the music to which your body is dancing. Change the rhythm of your breath and the body will invent new moves.

3. Keep the treasure for yourself! From a yogic point of view, orgasm isn't just a physical experience. It is also an experience in consciousness. It is a release of subtle energy (prana or chi). When you share sex with someone else you both participate in this energy release - even if only one of you has an orgasm. From a yogic perspective your partner participates in your consciousness; at this level your orgasm is their orgasm too. That's nice, but the great gift of solo sex is that you get to have your orgasm all to yourself. No sharing. Its your joy, your burst of pleasure, your utterly private indulgence. And when you're walking around with a cheeky smile on your face afterwards, only you will know why.