13/01/2015 07:38 GMT | Updated 14/03/2015 05:59 GMT

How to Know Someone Is Good in Bed.. Before bed.

We've all been there. That awkward moment where you've taken home a hottie home thinking you're going to have the best rough and tumble time of your life, and they end up being a massive disappointment. There's no chemistry, she fumbled with your bra like a teenage boy and she thought a G Spot was some sort of trendy bar in Soho. It can all get as awkward as when you're trapped in the corner of your shower because the cold water starts running. But there are a few ways you can look at a lesbian and know whether she's good in bed or not; you just have to look in detail.

Having the swagger, or having the Shane walk. Yes L word is still relevant. A girl will be hot, confident and she'll walk in like she knows that everyone in the room is looking at her in her tight crimson chinos. She might even have this swagger while she dances. If she can dance to any One direction song, and still looks cool, for God sake go for it.

Being assertive is a major factor. They know how they want their food, what music they want to listen to and how they want their drink. If they know everything that pleasures them to the max in their daily lives, chances are that will apply in the unicorn sheets too. If you're at the bar and someone comes up and asks for pina colada, stirred not shaken, rum in the glass first, three table spoons of coconut oil, juice poured through the stem of a daffodil finished off with a sponge bob square pants twirly straw, you take that girl home and you wait for her to do things to you. Before you know it you'll lying in a pool of sweat, lube and tequila having orgasmed so many times you can't remember your own face.

How she talks to you can show how much chemistry you have together. If you talk in the same way or you use the same expressions it can mean you will be in sync for other things too. Namely getting your knickers off and biting each other's necks with precision. How you converse can also show if she will be the top or the bottom in bed. If she likes to or agree with you or hesitates before she gives her own opinion on dolphins or ferris wheels, she'll more likely be a bottom.

Confidence however isn't everything. She could have the meekness of a cat who's just fallen in a pond but she might be an explosive dynamite of a dirty bitch in bed. And that's like the top medal for love making. Also look out for clothing. Any sort of outfit that looks extremely complicated such as a Miley Cyrus type leotard or a morph suit with 437 buttons on it will have someone wearing it that wasn't expecting sex. Jeans so low they show the top of underwear, loose fitting tshirts or a dress that you can whip off quicker than a Katy Perry marriage is a win.

There's a lot that can show you how good they'll be in the bed/on the table/up against a wall, you just have to look close enough. People with natural chemistry will automatically look at each other's necks and lips while they speak. It's always worth looking at these things, because you don't want to get home full of excitement for the sexual times ahead only to find she lies there like a wet fish and doesn't get your fish wet at all.