28/08/2014 07:38 BST | Updated 27/10/2014 05:59 GMT

Should You Ever Get Matching Tattoos?

For some people, getting matching tattoos with their current partner is a normal part of their routine. They look like a teenager's maths book with a name scrawled out for every person they've decided they don't fancy anymore. But it's on their actual person. If you are considering doing this with your partner, just like every mental crazy could-easily-ruin-the-rest-of-your-life idea, there are factors involved.

Firstly, is the design you're planning on getting. If you're thinking each other's names then give yourself a good hard slap in the face and stop drinking at four in the afternoon. The same goes with anything surrounded in some sort of heart while butterflies and singing flowers circle it and there's so much colour and glitter it looks like a unicorn shat on you.

If you're thinking matching tattoos this can work a lot better. Especially if they're subtle and not that obvious to everyone else. It's like the two of you have your very own Victoria Secret and it's a little thrill of your own to look down your onesie and see it. But subtle is key. No one needs to run into you both on a dark night with matching clown tattoos drawings on your face.

Get something small like a symbol that means something to the both of you whether it's a word that you both like the sound of, a fish because you met at the aquarium, or very small and neatly drawn sex organs because you both like each other's very much. If you're going to choose a lyric of a song, make it something meaningful, something that makes you love the person even more and make sure it's not by Justin Bieber. Because when he goes into rehab, gets kidnapped or finally comes out as a lesbian, the words he sang might have a very different meaning.

Of course what everyone will have warned you already is; what happens if you break up. What happens if you get the most perfect tattoo in the world but then two years down the line she cheats on you with the lolly pop lady? You can't exactly take it off and throw it in the Thames like you've done with the rest of her valuables. Every time you look down at that little drawing of a giraffe in a tutu etched into your skin, you're going to recall that memory of when you walked in and saw that lolly pop sign in a very inappropriate place.

But if you're set on this, remember the very golden rule. It's so gold you could cash it in for enough cash for one of those diamonds that shine brightly that Rhianna keeps at her house. Don't do it drunk. Your brain will tell you it's the most wonderful idea in the world and then will punish you in the morning by making your face vomit pain and a picture of your lover's portrait on your neck. And you won't even remember. No story needs to end with 'And then I found the tattoo.' Because Tequila is the 'Clear History' button of your life