Let's cut to the chase, I'm always feeling guilty about something. Whether it's taking a day's holiday at work, cancelling on a friend (again), sleeping in past 10am at the weekend or not putting at least 50% of my pay cheque into a savings account every month. I don't even have a savings account... That's another thing I feel guilty about.
While some believe woman inherently feeling guilty about X,Y and Z has "become lazy journalism folklore - like how men can't multitask and women can't park a car" research suggests it might actually be true. Which is flippin' great for us, right girls?
I don't know about you, but I feel so much better knowing I can blame my sex for feeling bad about pointless sh*t. Now let's all stop feeling guilty about feeling guilty.
Not satisfied? Neither am I. Just acknowledging this "fact" doesn't help much when it comes to tackling that stomach-churning, chest-tightening sinking feeling that oft takes over when buying a full-fat latte at Starbucks instead of kale mush at an independent health foods cafe.
While it's certainly justified to feel bad when you purposefully ignore a call from a friend or cheat on your boyfriend or get ridiculously drunk in a bar and end up in a fist fight with the toilet attendant, there are some things you should stop feeling guilty about...
1. Missing a friend's baby shower
It's honestly okay if you'd rather sit at home and stare at the wall than go to that baby shower. If you're expecting to have a crap time you'll probably have a crap time, so save yourself the bother of making idle chit-chat with people you hardly know, cooing over an ultrasound video and actually having to set foot in a Mothercare looking for an appropriate gift to give an expectant mother who up until recently used to be your boozy wing-woman.
2. Not feeling broody
Following on from point #1, just because all your mates are pregnant, doesn't mean you should hate yourself from not even knowing how to interact with a child. Sure, your mum may be hinting she'd like to be a young'ish grandmother and your boyfriend bloody loves waving at toddlers in restaurants and in the queue for the check-out, but you're really not that bothered about popping out a kid in the next, um, I dunno 10 years. And that's okay.
3. Taking a genuine sick day
If you're sick, just bloody accept it and make a nest for yourself out of snotty tissues and don't go into the office, don't look at your email and don't answer your phone.
4. Not being okay with it when you order the cheapest thing on the menu and everyone else wants to split the bill
"I ordered the side salad and the tap water on purpose, guys! I'm not effing paying for six rounds of cocktails and your chateaubriand FFS."
5. Taking a taxi instead of public transport
Sure it's more expensive, but sometimes the bus/train is just too much to handle especially when you've had a few and/or it's raining.
6. Not having a "profession"
So you're not a chartered accountant, or a lawyer, or a dentist and sometimes you wonder whether your parents are proud of you and your media degree at all, but you're paying the bills, right? Also, it should be noted it's completely fine to wait until the red letter comes before you pay for your gas, electric and water.
7. Watching [insert reality telly show here] instead of the 10 o'clock news
While you appreciate the importance of keeping up-to-date with current affairs you'd much rather watch some Z-list celeb try their hand at ski jumping, diving, singing, dancing, cooking, renovating their home etc. etc. etc.
8. Stalking your ex on Facebook
You're better off without them, but there's no reason you can't take a peek at their FB profile and see what has become of their pathetic self since you woke up and realised they were a total douchebag. It's not unhealthy. Well, it's not that unhealthy.
9. Not buying organic produce
It. Is. Expensive.
10. Not being able to come up with a complete list of 10
Nine is the new 10, didn't you know?