02/09/2012 13:14 BST | Updated 01/11/2012 09:12 GMT

Six Lies Hollywood Movies Have Told Us

We all grew up watching the latest Hollywood movie's, swooning after the latest actor or actress to hit our screens... and believing all the unbelievably unrealistic plot lines that were thrown at us were realistic too.

Hollywood movies aren't exactly known for being an every day example of the every man's quest for perfection - but they'd definitely have you believe it! But seriously for a second now, when we compare English cinema to Hollywood cinema... there is a serious contrast in ideals here, and a seriously different representation of reality.

In American cinema they have The Hangover, a tale of four friends who get too drunk in Vegas, end up trashing a luxurious hotel suite and partying with Mike Tyson's pet tiger. In the UK, our equivalent is.... The in-betweeners. Also a tale of four friends, who vomit a lot during a lads holiday to Malia. No tigers involved.

The reality here is of course the latter. No men I currently know, and no men I have ever known have ever ended up partying with Mike Tyson's per tiger in a luxury suite in Caesars Palace Hotel in Vegas. They have however been on holiday, drunk to much, kissed some girls and vomited a lot. Which sounds much more in-betweeners-like than it does of The Hangover. Agreed?

But the thing is, because of this "Hollywood lie" there are millions of men now out there trying to figure out where to rent a tiger for their stag-night. Why? Because that's what they think is the norm.

So what other lies do Hollywood movies tell us?

1. That all American homes have a swimming pool. Or at least an above ground swimming pool.

This is not true. And yet, Hollywood seems to paint this obscure landscape of perfect suburban neighbourhoods all with amazing swimming pools and phenomenal gardens. If you've ever been to the USA - you'll know this is all lies. Yes, some do have pools - but it's definitely not a percentage over 80% like they'd have you believe.


2. New York is the centre of the earth.

New York City is amazing - but if Hollywood is anything to go by - you'd probably avoid it forever more. Where do the aliens always attack? Where do the Super Hero's always gather to 'protect'? Where do the stocks collapse? You get the picture. New York is a busy place and it's very active and crowded - but it's also surprisingly low-key. You probably won't see a celebrity, you probably won't get beaten up and mugged and you probably won't see any aliens.


3. Cheerleaders are bitches.

Come on, this is something Hollywood seems to believe like the gospel. Bring it On, Mean Girls, American Beauty, John Tucker Must Die, Never been kissed... plot lines almost dependant on bitchy cheerleaders. But actually, if you've ever met a cheerleader in an American high school - they're just nice, normal people. Weird that.


4. You'll meet the love of your life at 16.

Whilst this is true for some people, for many others, the love of their life doesn't come along until their 20s, 30s or even later. Not that Hollywood would ever tell you those statistics.... because in a Hollywood movie everyone finds their "the one" in high school. Did you ever notice we never see beyond the wedding too? That's because divorces don't exist in a Hollywood movie.


5. Christmas trees only come in large.

You know festive films, well have you ever noticed that Christmas trees only ever come in size large? Endless amounts of great festive Hollywood movie's, and yet weirdly all the characters, all the families all the locations all buy their Christmas trees from the same supplier. Growing up I thought that our Christmas tree was always disappointingly small - but I grew up watching Home Alone.... So I was hoping for something like this:


6. Women can do anything in heels.

This pretty much explains itself. In a Hollywood movie there is apparently nothing a women can't do in heels. She can run, she can escape, she can jump between buildings. She can kick and fight. And she never looses her balance. Which is not only incredibly impressive - but also incredible inaccurate.