Dear Me,
You have no idea how different your life will be in ten years time. Your life has not even begun yet. Everything you are worrying about now will be insignificant one day.
Don't worry about the bullies in secondary school. You don't know it yet but one of the bitchy girls will actually apologise to you on the last day of school for their behaviour. Just remember, it's nothing personal and carry on with what you are doing because it will pay off.
You will get what you want but not in the order you want. You will get good exam results, travel, go to a great university and have a year abroad. You will meet great friends who, at some points, will become the only people you can rely on. Do not underestimate how lucky you are. You will be able to explore South East Asia for ten months and eat at fancy restaurants, bath elephants, take cooking courses and realise just how many kind people there are.
The world isn't a beautiful place. It's people that make the world a beautiful place. You will go through your own struggles. You don't know that one day your father will come home and suddenly announces he wants a divorce or that your mother will be arrested or you will go hungry at sixth form because you have no money. You won't know that the man who has raised you for 18 years will write you out of your life with no explanation.
But for now, all of that doesn't matter. At the age of thirteen, you are entering a new chapter. Would your future self do it again? I doubt it. Your high school years will be some of the worst and embarrassing moments in your life. You will try to re-create the umbrella dance with the dance group at school but you are the only one whose umbrella won't open causing you to run off stage. You won't know sexual terminology, you'll be told you 'are a lovely girl with no academic ability' by a teacher and you'll get in trouble for sneaking around.
However in a couple of years, this will not matter. Just stop wishing your life away. The time now will be precious to you one day. Some memories are precious because they show you how far you've come or some are precious because they include people you love.
Choose your friends wisely because they will shape the person you become. There are certain people you should stay away from but the role they play in your life will be important. You will hurt but pain is good because you will grow as a result.
Things will change but embrace it. You will block out your parents divorce and carry the British mentality of 'Keep calm and carry on'. You will go into sixth form and try to act as if nothing has happened. It will take you two years to grieve for your parents divorce but that's okay. You will only trust yourself but in time, you will learn to open up to more people.
Have faith because life is a journey.
Emily