I chose this title as I thought it wasn't as cheesy as Salt N Pepa's "Let's talk about sex." "More, more, more," Bananarama sang it back in the 80's. The reason for the more 'risqué' blog post this week is because I have seen so many new year's resolutions that involve weight-loss, more exercise, healthier eating etc, and I have never liked to conform. So, I think having more sex should be on the top of that list. Don't read on if you are prude.
So, you are still reading ;). I have edited this piece as I recently read a post about a mum discussing 'Parent sex,' so I wanted to mention this. She wrote "You know the kind... you've got a few mins if you're lucky and are on constant alert in case a little person comes to find you..." The stress of parenting and frantically trying to cram everything in each day is exhausting. We shouldn't let this make our sex lives slip though. It is more exciting if you can only grab a quickie sometimes. Most of the time when the children are really young, your other half annoys you so much that sex is actually the last thing on your mind. Any dads reading this and feeling a bit sexually neglected, I promise you if you just hoover tonight or clean the bathroom, do the kids' homework and put the kids to bed you may have a different reaction in the bedroom.
I know ultimately for the new year we all just want to be happy. Happiness does mean different things for different people. It's great that people want to exercise more, it releases endorphins and makes you feel great. Healthy eating is what we all hope will make us live longer, and definitely makes us feel better than grabbing a Mcdonalds! Some people want to take up a new hobby. I know starting up Taekwondo again for me has been good, and I love the time I get with my daughter as we go together. It is all fabulous wanting to do these things, but we can't get away from the money issue. Gym memberships do come at a price, but sex is free! On the other hand, you could go for a run in the evenings for free. I totally respect the people that can get out into the dark and cold in an evening...YOU ARE AMAZING, but wouldn't you just rather jump under the covers in the warm and get some action?
Women apparently hit their sexual peak at 35, and I would agree. I think your thirties are the best decade of your life (although I may change this opinion as I get older). I got married as I turned 30, just had my first baby. I had all 3 children in this decade, my confidence escalated ten fold, I loved my job but had the confidence to have a career break. And yes, my libido increased.
So, the science. The sexual-response cycle is divided into four phases: excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution. Sex is apparently anti-aging, immune-boosting and stress-reducing. Sex releases oxytocin and release endorphins, which are natural pain-killer hormones. Oxytocin affects the way we feel, and helps us form strong emotional bonds. Orgasms are natural mood-boosters and stress relievers. It has also been said it can boost your self-esteem. Endorphins released stimulate immune cells that fight disease. It is great for your heart too. You can burn up to 200 calories per session.....same as what I would probably do on a slow cycle session at the gym. I know what I would rather do (although that is not a dig at my friend as I love our chats as we cycle). The glow of sex is real. Women who have more sex have higher levels of oestrogen, which is important for healthier, smoother skin. It promotes the production of collagen, which keeps the skin supple and gives you a healthy glow.
So, what are you waiting for...(sorry if you are in work reading this and have to wait until you get home)? For 2016, put it on the top of your list...make love, not war!