You may think you’re in charge as a parent, but we all know who actually runs the show.
Over the years, the funny mums and dads of Twitter have shared their failed efforts to be sneaky around their kids ― whether it’s eating their Halloween sweets or getting rid of excess toys.
We’ve rounded up a hilarious selection. Scroll down for 35 relatable tweets about kids busting their parents.
My daughter caught me eating the last piece of her birthday cake & the look she gave me will haunt me for the rest of my days.— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) February 19, 2014
"Snitches get stitches," may not have been the best thing to say when my son caught me eating my husband's ice cream. I know this now.— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) August 30, 2016
I got busted for laughing when my husband was telling our sons it’s not funny or appropriate to draw huge penises on their drawings of reindeer. “But dad, see, Mom thinks it’s funny” (and I had to leave the room) 😬 Merry Christmas!— Ally (@TragicAllyHere) December 16, 2018
My 3yo caught me eating his potty-training reward jelly beans by the handful. I told him it was okay because I used the potty. A lot.— ReasonsMySonIsCrying (@ReasonsMySonCry) July 26, 2014
My daughter caught me throwing out some artwork of hers, so if you could donate to our GoFundMe, we can get her the “nicer mom” that she’s requested.— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) April 5, 2018
Thanks for your support!
You think you are in charge of your house until your kid gets out of bed and you panic and hide the ice cream you are eating.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) July 24, 2020
Just got busted by my toddler when a toy announced, "It's learning time!" from inside the black plastic garbage bag in the back of the van.— TheBabyLady (@thebabylady7) July 11, 2017
My toddler caught me in the middle of taking a selfie and gave a look so disapproving we reversed roles. She’s the dad now.— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) March 16, 2018
8 yo caught me laughing at his "injury" . Long night from here on out.— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) August 19, 2015
My 10yo caught me hiding candy, so I did what any good parent would do:— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) August 11, 2020
I paid him off
My daughter caught me trying to organize her playroom and now I’ve been sentenced to three hours of playing Barbies.— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) April 17, 2020
Just an FYI, parents are allowed to touch the dang elf and they won't lose their powers. My 7yo caught me "helping" the elf. He "fell."— Jacalyn Wetzel (@Stopyellingmep2) December 11, 2015
My kids caught me sneak-blending a smoothie, do i tell them that indeed it is delicious or that it is made of ants, carrots & responsibility— Sabaa Tahir (@sabaatahir) September 13, 2017
My kids caught me moving the clocks forward so now I'm stuck playing UNO and sipping juice boxes squeezed into flutes until actual midnight.— Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie) January 1, 2014
My son caught me swearing at a video game yesterday but in my defense, I had no idea he was there.— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) June 26, 2016
10yo caught me tooth fairying and now she keeps crying and telling me I ruin everything. She's TEN. I thought she KNEW.— Elizabeth (@sandblowerliz) July 25, 2017
I would never ever deface a book by tearing out a page. NEVER. But my 3 year old has started noticing when I skip pages during his bedtime story so now I’m kinda tempted.— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) October 20, 2020
3 called her dad a “sneaky boy” today because he got caught sneaking a scone and I haven’t stopped laughing.— 🕷Marissa 🧟♀️🎃 (@michimama75) May 6, 2020
My son caught me stealing some of his candy. For seconds, I was back to being a kid in trouble.— Carbosly (@Carbosly) November 9, 2013
Then I took his lunch $ and sent him to bed.
I am "the kid caught me with my hidden stash of peanut m&m's in the middle arm rest of the car" years into parenting— dadmissions (@Dadmissions) August 31, 2016
Just got busted by 10yo for calling Millenium Falcon a PLANE.— Kate McKinney (@Katecake) April 1, 2013
I just got busted surfing Facebook alone in the dark by an 11 year old. I just lost every ounce of adult-cred i had. Crap.— Shannon Lin (@mrslin) August 6, 2013
10yo caught me dancing in my bathroom while my hair dye sets. She screamed, "Oh my gawd, seriously!?" Pssssh. I used to gogo dance, kid! Lol— No Dont Panic (@JesSoSorry) January 10, 2014
8yo caught me counting the months on my fingers and yelled "Mommy you're cheating!" I'll remember that come math homework tonight, kid.— Leigh Ann Torres (@latorres) April 11, 2016
6yo caught me doing the tooth fairy thing.— The Boy Wondering (@Robski_Boy) February 26, 2018
In an unexpected twist, she now thinks I was stealing her tooth fairy money.
I sneakily made chocolate milk and my toddler caught me and asked what it was and I panicked and said “dirty milk.”— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) January 3, 2020
This is how kids grow up thinking their parents are from another planet.
My 3yo caught me gesturing to my wife with the broom like it was my dick so that counts as the sex talk right?— dADDisms (@Beagz) November 11, 2019
Considering my kids catch me eating ice cream after they’ve gone to bed regularly, I’m surprised I never got caught smoking pot as a teen— No Idea: Daddy Blog (@byclintedwards) June 28, 2018
Typical. Was about to eat a chocolate bar when our 2 year old caught me and had a meltdown because he wanted it.— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) October 1, 2019
So naturally it tasted even more delicious than usual.
My 3yo caught me watering down his juice the other day, so now when he asks for more to drink, he stands like a guard in front of the water dispenser to stop me from betraying him again.— Spooky Sam (@samuel_loose) January 13, 2020
Tonight I promised the kids I wouldn’t yell— Dad on my Feet (@dad_on_my_feet) February 7, 2020
But when I did, our 9yo caught me:
“Daddy, that was a YELL.”
I stammered back:
“No, it was more like a...a....A STERN REPRIMAND!”
She rolled her eyes
Then she smiled.
As parents we fail a lot
It’s ok for our kids to see it, too.
My kids caught me eating candy and they both took turns interrogating me trying to get me to tell them where the candy stash is, but I ain't no snitch I ain't telling them shit!— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) November 19, 2019
My kid caught me throwing away one of her crappy "art" projects and let me tell you my friend, the road to re-built trust is a long one— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 17, 2015
My son busted me for falling asleep during Lego Batman. I'm reclined in a cozy seat in a dark room at 2pm! He'll understand when he's older.— Christina Evans (@cakevans) February 21, 2017
7yo caught me eating six layer dip directly from the large tub it's in, she's obviously disgusted, this visual will stick with her awhile— Zach (@floyding) June 14, 2017