An Old Friend Wants To Charge Me To Attend Her Wedding, Am I Wrong To Say No?

"It's just unfortunate because we've been friends for 12 years and it's sad to only be able to attend the ceremony because I absolutely refuse to pay."

Sometimes, as a wedding guest, it can feel as if there is no end to the attendance prices. A new outfit, travel, drinks at the reception, a gift for the couple... it adds up very quickly.

However, what if the couple in question asked you to pay just to be there? That’s what happened to Reddit user OmnivorousReader67 recently.

Speaking on the subreddit aptly named /r/WeddingDrama, they said: “One of my closest friends is getting married and is charging her guests to attend the wedding. I always knew she was cheap, so in one way I’m not surprised.”

Adding: “But this is really not the norm in the country I live in, although it seems like 90s kids like me have started to charge for their weddings more and more which is just embarrassing.”

For context, the couple in question sent out RSVPs with the following options:

  1. I will attend the wedding (envelope fee: 65 dollars)

  2. I will only attend the ceremony

  3. I will not be able to attend

... Yikes.

Should you charge wedding guests to attend your wedding?

Bafflingly, the couple didn’t disclose what the 65 dollars would go towards but the guest did a quick Google search to try to get to the bottom of it and found: ”Food, music, decorations and venue.”

So, uh, they want guests to pay for... decorations.

OmnivorousReader67 added that on the couple’s website, there is a page where guests are invited to gift the couple experiences like cooking classes, dance classes, and a trip away for the couple. These gifts are “not needed but welcome” but the Reddit user reasonably asks: “WHO would pay for a gift after they have to pay to attend the wedding?”

Well, indeed.

While all of this may make you assume that the couple are a little strapped-for-cash, OmnivorousReader67 assures that it couldn’t be further from the case saying: “The thing is, I KNOW they have money. My friend inherited a lot of money from her grandma in advance, they have a house, her fiancé is an engineer, they have a boat, and they are currently renovating their house.

“I also suspect that they actually can afford both the renovation and the wedding, but they are probably just trying to play it smart and make the guests contribute because as I said, I’ve always known she’s cheap.”

Are they wrong for not attending?

User BeepingJerry said: “Who would want to go to this? Bride needs to get a clue that she and the wedding is just not all that special.”

While TradtionScary8716 said: “Pick Option 3 and replace your ex-friend with a better human.”

As they have been friends with the bride for 12 years, it may not be that simple but we hope they found a solution.