People Came Up With 10 New Measures Of Success That Have F-All To Do With Getting Married


Scrolling through Facebook we all know what society values as milestones in life worth celebrating: engagements, weddings, babies. Nice if you have them, but if you don’t, you may feel like a loser.

But aha! What if we could redefine success?

Now people on Reddit are coming up with their own #lifegoals that we can totally get on board with.

1. To be a snooze-button ninja.

“Go from asleep to fully dressed and then driving in less than eight minutes because you are late to work.”

2. To have the immune system of a green-juice drinker.

“Live for 365 days without ever becoming ill.”

3. To be completely unphased by bad luck and superstition.

“Walk under a ladder, open an umbrella indoors, fail to forward a chain email, break a mirror, and have a black cat cross your path on a single Friday the thirteenth.”

4. To break your Fitbit.

“Walk the distance equivalent to the circumference of the Earth.”

5. To win against the Internet trolls.

“Win an argument versus a stranger in the YouTube comment section. I bet your parents will be proud.”

6. To become a master of romantic rejection.

“Get rejected lots. In a row. Go speed dating for maximum efficiency. Nineteen rejections in a single evening. I think that is achievement whoring.”

7. To diminish your social circle to the point you no longer need to pretend to be fun.

“Avoid unwanted social relationship until they eventually stop calling.”

8. To go viral.

“After getting sick, infect one hundred of your nearest and dearest.”

9. To f**k up on a grand scale.

“Royally screw something up trying to impress four or more people.”

10. To achieve the ultimate life goal.

“Go a week without caffeine.”