If you’ve been feeling like your sex life has been a tad... lacking, lately, and you’re not even feeling the urge to fix it, you’re not alone. A loss of libido affects up to 1 in 5 males ― and even more females ― at some time in their lives and while they’re not exactly enjoyable, dry spells are completely normal.
There are a multitude of reasons for libido plummeting and some of them are completely external to your relationship or sex life. In fact, research conducted by the sexperts at Lovehoney found that the most common reason for not having or wanting sex is quite literally being too tired.
This isn’t all that surprising given that 13% of Brits are in a state of constant exhaustion and 33% feel shattered about half of the time. Additionally, in a separate piece of research, Lovehoney found that 53% of people are thinking about how much longer sex is going to go on for ― potentially due to struggling to stay awake and engaged.
Other reasons include stress, different sex drives, low intimacy outside of the bedroom and simply not prioritising sex.
How to get your sex life back on track
If you feel ready to address it, getting your sex life back on track can be beneficial not just in the bedroom but for your relationship. According to Elisabeth Neumann, head of User Research at Lovehoney, “It can be an important tool to reconnect with a partner and build a strong foundation for a relationship. Also, it contributes to personal well-being and mental health.
“Regular sexual activity has a positive impact on our health – it boosts the immune system, life satisfaction, and prevents cardiovascular diseases.”
Neumann shared her five tips for getting back into the swing of things.
Make time for intimate pleasure
Neumann acknowledges that the stresses and strains of everyday life can take over and leave our sex lives neglected but says that in this case, we need to be proactive. She says, “It may feel weird in the beginning, but try to schedule intimacy time in your calendars, just as you schedule hobbies or friends”
She adds that even switching your phones off and making conscious efforts to connect one another can bring back the excitement.
Give yourself a ‘sexy makeover’
Neumann recommends buying lingerie or a sexy outfit to enjoy feeling sexy again and adds that you can share the joy of the new lingerie with your partner for a sexy surprise.
If you REALLY want to tease them, you could send a flirty snap of you in your underwear to build up the excitement before you see them.
Introduce sex toys
Neumann said, “the world of sex toys is constantly developing, and there are many products out there that might be fun and interesting for you”.
Even the excitement of shopping for sex toys might get you both tingling.
Be vulnerable with each other
Finally, Neumann said that actually just being more intimate, and close with one another can be exactly what your relationship has been waiting for.
“Research shows that the more secure we feel with a partner, the more the eroticism declines in a partnership. Find activities with your partner that allow both of you to be vulnerable, and to share emotions or sides of you that your partner might not have seen before.”