With Valentine’s day quickly approaching, many singles are thinking about their dating life. Google data reveals that celibacy, which means voluntarily not having sex, is a growing trend, and some studies found younger people are having sex less often.
Google Trends data shows a 90% increase in searches for celibacy in the UK over the last month, indicating a growing trend in interest, and is currently at an all-time high in the UK. But why is this happening?
Usually, celibacy is associated with people who hold religious or spiritual beliefs. However, people may choose celibacy to improve their mental health.
There are lots of reasons why people may voluntarily choose celibacy – fewer or no sexual partners means lower chances of developing sexually transmitted infections, unwanted pregnancies, and emotional stress. Some may be recovering from past traumas while others may be avoiding the emotional complications of sexual relationships.
As meeting people on dating apps has become the norm, it makes it easier for people to get stuck in an endless loop of swiping and having casual sex while always looking for something better, rather than finding meaningful connections.
Could celibacy become an alternative to traditional dating and casual sex as a way of finding more meaningful and fulfilling relationships.
If you’re curious about celibacy, relationship expert Valon Asani from dating app Dua.com shares his expert advice, depending on your situation:
People thinking of practicing celibacy:
If you are considering celibacy, it’s vital to take the time to reflect on your reasons for doing so. Are you motivated by spiritual or religious beliefs or a desire to focus on other aspects of your life? Are you seeking to avoid past traumas or emotional complications?
It’s important to ensure that celibacy is the right decision for you and that you understand the potential emotional and physical challenges that may come with it.
Singles unfulfilled by casual sex or online dating:
Suppose you feel unfulfilled by casual sex and online dating experiences. In that case, it may be worth considering taking a break from these activities and exploring what you truly want from relationships and sex.
It may be helpful to take a moment to reflect on your values, needs, and boundaries and seek counselling or therapy to work through any underlying emotional issues affecting your relationships.
Before making a decision to abstain from sex, taking a breather to explore why you are unhappy in dating can help to identify what you want from a partner and what has been missing previously. Knowing yourself and communicating this to date will project confidence and help to filter the right people into your life, with a better chance at developing a meaningful connection.
Couples experiencing difficulties with their sexual relationship:
If a couple is experiencing problems with their sexual relationship, they need to address the issue as soon as possible. While celibacy may be an option for some couples, it’s not a one-size-fits-all solution and should not be a decision made lightly. Instead, try the following:
Communicate openly and honestly: A couple must communicate their feelings and concerns about their sexual relationship. Communication can help them understand each other’s perspectives and identify potential issues.
Seek professional help: If you’re struggling to resolve issues on your own, it may be helpful to seek the help of a therapist or counsellor specialising in sexual health and relationships. A therapist can help to explore the underlying issues and develop strategies to improve your sexual relationship.
Take a break: Sometimes, taking a break from sex can benefit a couple, as it allows them to focus on other aspects of their relationship and build intimacy in different ways. During this time, it may be useful for the couple to engage in activities such as talking, cuddling, and spending time together without the pressure of sex.
It’s important to note that celibacy is a personal choice, and you should do what is best for yourself and be mindful of your own needs and well-being. It’s also worth seeking professional help if you are struggling with your decision or need more guidance.
Before considering celibacy, pause to reflect on your wants and needs in a relationship. Understanding your motivations, values, and needs can help you know yourself better and prepare you for the next time you’re ready to date.
Being in tune with yourself can help you to focus on creating a meaningful connection rather than just sex because if you understand yourself, you can communicate more honestly with others. Open and honest communication with a potential date or partner indicates that you know what you want, which can help attract the right people into your life and break the dating cycle for good.