Dreamt About Your Ex? Here's What It Actually Means

There's a fine line between a dream and a NIGHTMARE.
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Ahhh, there’s nothing like slipping into a cosy, deep sleep and dreaming away until, wait, what? Oh my god. WHAT IS MY EX DOING HERE?

Yes, if you’ve found yourself dreaming of your ex recently you’re certainly not alone. Maybe we’ve been all thinking about love due to Valentine’s Day, but 8,300 people have Googled ‘dreaming of ex’ in the past 30 days, an 100% increase when compared to the previous month.


According to sleep expert at MattressNextDay Martin Seeley,: “Sleep helps you process and understand your emotions, particularly those you may find difficult with in real life, which is why you’re more likely to dream of your ex around this romantic holiday.”

Okay, we hear you Martin, but what do our dreams actually mean? Is it that we secretly wish we would get back together?!

Don’t panic - MattressNextDay spoke to dreams expert Inbaal Honigman to reveal what these dreams actually suggest about your subconscious.

Dreaming of an ex from long ago means you’re thinking about missed opportunities

Inbaal said, “If you dream of an ex from a long time ago, this is a sign that you are wondering about your missed opportunities of youth. Perhaps you feel that you should have taken a different path in life, from the career you picked to the area you live in. If these decisions are connected to your long-gone ex, this may be why they are on your brain. If you have one of these dreams, upon waking, check whether you feel fearful or serene - this will tell you whether your past choices were preferable to your present or not.”

If an ex apologises to you in a dream, you’re craving closure

According to Inbaal, this is you subconsciously choosing peace. “An apology in a dream is your mind’s way of bringing peace to a turbulent situation. Your sleeping subconscious is going over unfinished stories from the past. If this love story ended badly, and the other person never took responsibility for their actions, your mind still craves that apology. And at least in the dream, your ex is mature enough to deliver one!”

Did you get intimate with your ex? You need your sexual needs met (by anyone)

You’ll be pleased to hear that this type of dream is usually not about the partner at all (THANK GOD).

Inbaal explains in more detail, “At night when you’re asleep, your dreams stem from your mind. So, if your body is going through a bit of a drought and you’ve not enjoyed a physical connection with anybody for a while, then the natural human desire to embrace will transcend body and mind and burst right into your dream. There is no shame in having physical desires, and it’s certainly perfectly natural to act upon them in a dream.”

Were you cheated on? Dreaming about this is your mind trying to make sense of it

Inbaal said, “One of the most upsetting love-related dreams one can have is where cheating occurs. The sense of betrayal, shame and hopelessness that go along with infidelity can ruin a good night’s sleep.

“If you dream of an ex-partner cheating, you might be trying to make sense of the split. You could be worried that their loyalty was never for you, and you may be suspicious that they were cheating in real life too. The dream shows your own insecurities rather than any unfaithful thoughts from the ex.”

Dreaming of an ex in a new relationship is a question of their past loyalty

Inbaal said, “Dreaming of an ex in a new relationship is very similar to dreaming of an ex-partner cheating. This is questioning whether their loyalty was ever with you, did they ever love you? It’s a dream of insecurity, but it’s also an opportunity to find out how you feel. Did it make you feel jealous, upset, or secretly relieved that they’re not with you anymore?”

Dreaming of a past argument with an ex? That’s your way of having the final say

Inbaal said, “A dream of arguing with an ex is a wishful dream. You’ve gone over your old arguments so many times, and each time you thought of a better come-back, a better answer you could have shouted! In your dream, you can finally get to win that argument, slam that door, and have the final say! This dream can be a great stress-reliever, allowing you to set the record straight, at least in your mind.”